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枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 我很想知道我和一个男人相处了半年多. 他对我的态度始终让我觉有些若即若离. 可是我对他
的感情却逐日加深. 当我终于忍不住告诉他, 其实我对他的感觉并不是我所说的只
是喜欢, 而是爱的时候, 他的回答是: 他觉得有压力. 那么, 他到底是爱我, 还是
不爱我, 或在两者之间.
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
{244}
(#2668951@0)
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不爱
-fxiao(风枫 秋水春江);
2005-12-18
(#2668952@0)
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可是为什么当一个我不爱的男人告诉我他爱我的时候, 我并没有感受到他所说的压力
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
(#2668957@0)
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或许女人听到被爱,感受到的只是简单的喜悦和小小的虚荣
-fxiao(风枫 秋水春江);
2005-12-18
(#2669002@0)
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可以很肯定地说....你和这个你不爱的男人没有感情基础,也发生什么故事....:))))所以..没有压力了...
我说的对吧...^o^
-serenade123(橘子红了);
2005-12-18
{93}
(#2669193@0)
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不爱
-eglispa(一呵呵);
2005-12-18
(#2668960@0)
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听上去,他只想和你玩玩,没有当真,可能只是解除寂寞,而不是谈婚论嫁.你们交往的目的不一样.
-ling7199(Michaell);
2005-12-18
(#2669028@0)
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We may not jump to this type of conclusion so soon. Just because a man hesitates to say "I love you" does not mean he plays with you. Some people just are introvert and cannot express themselves as easily as others.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669364@0)
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如果爱,只会开心呢.我觉得他不爱你.
-o2o2o2(飘雪);
2005-12-18
(#2669066@0)
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难说。有一点是肯定地,他不能同你结婚la.你要感情呢,就不要再追问。你要婚姻呢,就马上分手。
-once(lost);
2005-12-18
(#2669079@0)
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It is not necessarily true that he definitely won't marry her. They have been dating each other for just half a year. It is too soon to decide if he wants to get married or not.Honestly speaking, I will not accept a proposal from a man whom I just have dated for half a year.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
{98}
(#2669371@0)
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你们都说对了, 他清清楚楚地告诉我, 他完全没有结婚的冲动. 可我却很想把这句话
理解成: 他还是爱我的, 只是没有爱到想结婚的程度.
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
(#2669253@0)
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You are right. Just that nobody can say "I want to marry you" just after a six-month dating. You may need to give him and yourself more time. If you really fall in love with him, you may keep trying.If you feel it is not worthwhile, you may just withdraw from the relationship.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
{78}
(#2669367@0)
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I feel that he at least likes you, otherwise he won't keep in regular contact with you for half a year without saying goodbye. It is normal that he feels under pressure.If I were you, I would ask him why he feels under pressure, and what the pressure exactly is. In my opinion, if a man and a woman want to have a future together, after half a year of intimate contact, they will spontaneously talk about it, otherwise, they may not have a full heart to deal with the commitment issue, in other words, they may just play around with each other.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
{375}
(#2669362@0)
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他的压力来自于我认认真真地告诉他我爱他, 而不是象以前那样在嘻笑怒骂中告诉他
我好像有点爱他, 而那样的态度才是他喜欢的.
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
(#2669467@0)
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至少在他心中,你不是重要的位置。他的态度就是说明他不甘心和你有进一步发展。男女有别,女孩找个宠你,当你是宝的男人幸福多一点。不然太委屈。。
-lotustears(圣诞快乐);
2005-12-18
(#2669479@0)
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That is the point!
-once(lost);
2005-12-18
(#2669482@0)
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True, but you cannot make sure if a man is a 宠你,当你是宝的男人 within only half a year. Some men are slow in terms of emotion processing, while others are quick, so it is a pity to give up too soon.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669505@0)
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有感觉的人,半年已经很长。没有感觉的人,2年都没有用。
-lotustears(圣诞快乐);
2005-12-18
(#2669591@0)
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In my mother's elder sister's case, her husband did not express any feelings to her till she decided to marry another man. Some men just have tremendous difficulty in expressing themselves.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669622@0)
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时代不同了。。。你也知道那个是你my mother's elder sister's case
-lotustears(圣诞快乐);
2005-12-18
(#2669631@0)
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Traditional love stories happen at any point of time, because people are different. I could not help bursting into smile, because I feel some sense of humour in your post. :) Thank.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669640@0)
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极是.结婚的冲动都没有的男人,是没有激情的男人,没意思.相爱的人一天一年,半年都太久,不相爱的人,就不说了.大家说的对,找个宠你的是正解.象温吞水一样的男人,一点意思也没有,就别提能在生活中多一点点浪漫了.
-abc0618(天冷了);
2005-12-23
(#2678557@0)
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Then ask him if he is willing to cherish the love as much as you do. He may not love you as much as you love him, but I feel he at least likes you. I do not think you have to give him up so soon,because you just date each other for half a year.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
{49}
(#2669502@0)
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如果你真的想知道他到底"爱"还是"不爱"你, 你应该了解他所谓的"压力"是什么.他可能在做选择, 也可能在敷衍, 看他是不是给了你一个合理的解释.
-warmbedtonight(来吧...);
2005-12-18
{61}
(#2669380@0)
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You may try to leave him for a while. i.e. go on a vacation for a month or so. Then back to him to see how he reacts.
-bookworm(晕晕);
2005-12-18
(#2669395@0)
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This is a great idea. If he has genuine feeling for you, he won't wait for even several days to get back to you, let alone a month.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669417@0)
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我倒不是急着想和他结婚, 确实还没到那程度. 我想确定的只是他至少是有些爱我的
. 这样我就有往下走的动力.我只问过他一次: 你到底喜不喜欢我. 他只是告诉我: 你自己用心去感受. 这种扑
朔迷离的态度让我想放手又不甘心, 不放手又觉得这不是我想要的一份踏踏实实的
感情.
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
{154}
(#2669452@0)
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感情的事儿,谁说得准啊。再说了,这和人的性格也很有关系啊。我一个女友今年和谈了7年的男友结婚了,很高兴地show给我们看她的wedding ring。最近几年不是她不想结婚,而是男友说他“not ready”,她也就那么随他了。她那男朋友跟着她期间也跟我们都认识的另外一女孩子说过喜欢她,希望跟她在一起,被这女孩子拒绝了。
他和她结婚以后,俩人现在也挺好的样子。
我们都说她,说象她这样愿意等7年的女孩子实在是数不出来几个。她自己也说自己一向比较passive,没有那么aggressive。
照拒绝了她那时的男友现在的老公的女孩子说法,换了是她,打死都不会跟她那个老公在一起,更不用说嫁给他了。
自己的事儿,自己看了。
-eglispa(一呵呵);
2005-12-18
{382}
(#2669458@0)
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感觉是候补了那么多年,终于被无奈的选上了。
-once(lost);
2005-12-18
(#2669477@0)
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Indeed, love is a piece of work of honorable time. However whether you wait for the one you love for how long depends on your own age. If you are young, you may have the luxury;if you are not, you may need to make the final decision as soon as possible.
By as soon as possible, I mean within 5 years.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
{127}
(#2669489@0)
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看见没, 动感情了,
-warmbedtonight(来吧...);
2005-12-18
(#2669459@0)
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分手是上策。如果一个男人与你交往了半年对自己的感情都拿不准,或者不想对你直接表白,一定有问题的。即使过几年结了婚,也不保险。
个人看法哈。。。
反过来,如果一个女孩子这种表现,就再正常不过la
-once(lost);
2005-12-18
{94}
(#2669468@0)
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Why cannot men have the similar ambivalence and ambiguity as women? It think it is normal for both men and women to be ambiguous, but it is never too late to ask,and it is not abnormal to ask.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
{30}
(#2669498@0)
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You need to let him know what you want.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669495@0)
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聪明如他, 又怎么会不知道我想要什么。所以经常暗示我他对很多事情都不能确定, 有时候连他自己也不知道他自己想要什么。我想他是在告诉他无法给我一个确切的答
案, 至少在目前。
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
(#2669575@0)
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Then you have to wait.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669588@0)
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Meanwhile you may need to open yourself to others instead of confining yourself to him due to his uncertainty. When people are dating, they open themselves to many different chocies.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669589@0)
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男人都很Jian,别抛砖呀....LOL.....你越拿他当回事,他越把自己当回事.就是真喜欢也别整天老暗示,老提醒的,该你的就是你的,不是你的就不是你的.别那么care对方,随他去....优秀的男人多了去了.....
-abc0618(天冷了);
2005-12-23
(#2678566@0)
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没婚之前这感情就跟工作一样,千万表忘记骑驴找马
-seinfeld(illusion);
2005-12-18
(#2669454@0)
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呵呵,这就象Sex And The City里的Mr. Big 和 Carrie在一起的时候又去date其他女孩子一样。Carrie和她的死党一商量,原来这就叫做大家还没到asking for exclusiveness的程度。
-eglispa(一呵呵);
2005-12-18
(#2669476@0)
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True. He may have more than one woman to choose.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669500@0)
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It is Love Axiom.
-bookworm(晕晕);
2005-12-18
(#2669547@0)
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then, ask him: why? Never mind to ask!!
-647i(-);
2005-12-18
(#2669484@0)
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其实我也知道这种事情谁也帮不了我, 自己的感受才是最真实的。 只是忍不住想听
听大家的意见。正如歌中所唱: 人太忠于感觉,就难好好思考。
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
(#2669583@0)
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You asked him only once. Why do you hesitate to ask him twice?
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669586@0)
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我不想爱一个人爱到没有自尊。其实我心里应该知道是怎么回事,只是不肯面对,
不愿承认
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
(#2669590@0)
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不肯面对, 不愿承认的结果是伤害了你自己。你已经给过他一次机会了,他没有好好珍惜,如果真的有缘分,轮到他来主动追你了。你可以和其他男孩交往一下,如果他爱你会着急的,如果他无所谓,更加不值得等他。
-lotustears(圣诞快乐);
2005-12-18
(#2669592@0)
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I disagree. In my opinion, 缘分 is not what you can get just by waiting. 缘分 does need your efforts including emotional investment. I do not think she should give up so soon.She may keep in touch with him as friends until the day he is ready. Meanwhile she may need to enlarge her friend circle instead of focusing on him only, as nothing is certain yet at least at this point of their contact.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
{220}
(#2669595@0)
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男女有别!
-lotustears(圣诞快乐);
2005-12-18
(#2669596@0)
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Not necessarily true. Speaking of emotion and feelings, men and women are similar in many aspects at least in my point of view. One thing is that men are more realistic than women.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669611@0)
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Men are also more afraid of the future than women, because they are still regarded as the dorminant builder of the future even women are more independent than before.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669615@0)
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大部分的男人喜欢追求得不到的女孩;而轻易得到或者较主动的都不会很珍惜。除非楼主已经做好一辈子低调的准备,不然以后男人犯错误了都会不以为然。这个男人的回答已经暗示了他还在寻觅更加合适他的人。
-lotustears(圣诞快乐);
2005-12-18
(#2669620@0)
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I agree that this man does not make his final choice yet, but I do not agree that 大部分的男人喜欢追求得不到的女孩. The reality is that 大部分的男人喜欢追求得不到的女孩 only in their dreams. :)
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669628@0)
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Regarding 轻易得到或者较主动的都不会很珍惜, I do not agree either. It depends. Some men marry women just after a several-day-long contact, and live happily ever after.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669636@0)
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I understand. My suggestion is that do not give him up, but meanwhile open yourself to other people. You have the right to do so.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669593@0)
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我明白。只是他在我的眼里实在是太优秀,这样让我觉得和任何一个别的男人交往都
有些困难。不过真的谢谢你的提醒, 我会尽量去尝试。
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
(#2669607@0)
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You take care, especially in this holiday season.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669610@0)
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谢谢, 你也是。 看到大家的跟帖,让我觉得挺温暖的
-yuchun(动什么别动感情);
2005-12-18
(#2669619@0)
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Exactly as what I thought.
-bookworm(晕晕);
2005-12-18
(#2669638@0)
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Just because he does not reach the same level of emotion as you do at this moment does not mean he won't in the future. Please do not depress yourself so much.
-traveller2005(traveller);
2005-12-18
(#2669599@0)
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感情的事说不准!
想要幸福就要自己争取!~
-mingxin(谢绝来访);
2005-12-18
(#2670257@0)
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Listen to those guys. No on knows men better than a guy! lol.
-soloist(solo);
2005-12-23
(#2678538@0)