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A Few Good Men (Comptroller’s Version)

本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I eat breakfast three hundred yards away from four thousand SEC & CRA asses who are trained to pick me off. So don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a stack of financial statements , and make me nervous.

Son, we live in a world that has battles, and those battles have to be tackled by men like me. Who's gonna do it? You? Auditor from the Big Fool? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the GAAP and curse the financial reportings. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that your picky eyes, while tragic, probably saved potential class actions. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves the quarterly filings. You don't want the truth - because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in those screens.

You need me in those screens. We use words like debit/credit, G/L, reconciliation.

We use these words as the backbone of a life spent providing financial disclosure. You use them as a punch line.

I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very auditing fees that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I'd suggest you pick up a calculator and do the entry. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
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  • A Few Good Men (Banker’s Version)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I eat breakfast three hundred yards away from four thousand bulge brackets & boutiques who are trained to pick me off. So don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a stack of regulation papers , and make me nervous.

    Son, we live in a world that has battles, and those battles have to be tackled by men like me. Who's gonna do it? You? The Syndication guy? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the DCM and curse the IBD. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that your allocation, while tragic, probably saved client relationship. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves the deals. You don't want the truth - because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in those screens.

    You need me in those screens. We use words like DCF, Comps, pitchbook, Synergy, & …..Rip-off.

    We use these words as the backbone of a life spent ripping something off. You use them as a punch line.
    I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very bonus pool that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I'd suggest you pick up a laptop and build a deck. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • A Few Good Men (Comptroller’s Version)
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I eat breakfast three hundred yards away from four thousand SEC & CRA asses who are trained to pick me off. So don't think for one second that you can come down here, flash a stack of financial statements , and make me nervous.

      Son, we live in a world that has battles, and those battles have to be tackled by men like me. Who's gonna do it? You? Auditor from the Big Fool? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for the GAAP and curse the financial reportings. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that your picky eyes, while tragic, probably saved potential class actions. And that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves the quarterly filings. You don't want the truth - because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in those screens.

      You need me in those screens. We use words like debit/credit, G/L, reconciliation.

      We use these words as the backbone of a life spent providing financial disclosure. You use them as a punch line.

      I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very auditing fees that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I'd rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way. Otherwise, I'd suggest you pick up a calculator and do the entry. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net