It is not always easy to say the right thing on the pur of the
moment. We can sympathize with the chap who met an old friend after
many years:

"How is your wife?"

"She is in heaven," replied the friend.

"Oh, I'm sorry," stammered the chap. Then he realized this was not
the thing to say. "I mean," he stammered, "I'm glad."

That seemed even worse so he blurted, "Well, what I really mean is,
I'm surprised."
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Woman: "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"

Husband: "No, honey, it makes you look as slim as Cindy Crawford and
Jennifer Aniston." (Cindy and Jennifer combined, maybe...)

A mother would be a little more honest:

Daughter: "Mom, does this dress make me look fat?"

Mother: "No, sweetheart, YOU make the dress look fat. I never thought
fabric could stretch like that!"