本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛If I were emotionally independent, I would be validated from within. I would be inner directed. My sense of worth would not be a function of being liked or treated well.
However, if I were emotionally dependent, my sense of worth and security would come from your opinion of me. If you didn’t like me, it could be devastating. Being dependent is to let others control us, define us, use us and manipulate us, is to let the weaknesses of other people ruin our emotional lives or to feel victimized by people and events out of our control.
True independence of character empowers us to act rather than be acted upon. It frees us from our dependence on circumstances and other people and is a worthy, liberating goal. But it is not the ultimate goal in effective living.
Interdependence is a far more mature, more advanced concept. If I am emotionally interdependent, I derive a great sense of worth within myself, but I also recognize the need for love, for giving, and for receiving love from others. Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Dependent people cannot choose to become interdependent. They don’t have the character to do it; they don’t own enough of themselves.
If you are interested in the above topic, I would recommend you read “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
However, if I were emotionally dependent, my sense of worth and security would come from your opinion of me. If you didn’t like me, it could be devastating. Being dependent is to let others control us, define us, use us and manipulate us, is to let the weaknesses of other people ruin our emotional lives or to feel victimized by people and events out of our control.
True independence of character empowers us to act rather than be acted upon. It frees us from our dependence on circumstances and other people and is a worthy, liberating goal. But it is not the ultimate goal in effective living.
Interdependence is a far more mature, more advanced concept. If I am emotionally interdependent, I derive a great sense of worth within myself, but I also recognize the need for love, for giving, and for receiving love from others. Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Dependent people cannot choose to become interdependent. They don’t have the character to do it; they don’t own enough of themselves.
If you are interested in the above topic, I would recommend you read “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen Covey更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net