本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛True it may not be possible to always 分出谁对谁错 -- and that is not the purpose of 讲理 either. If I takes it right, 讲理 means reasoning, NOT arguing.
Reasoning is an important way of maintaining everyone's consistency, integrity and sanity, and improving the communication and understanding among family members.
It's true that differences in initial standing points cannot be reconciled by reasoning. However, more often than not, spouses do share a common ground in their value systems. It's the pre-occupying sense of authority (to children) and entitlement (to spouse) -- often in the name of "love" -- that prevents them from reaching the same conclusions -- which would have been possible via sound reasoning.
Reasoning cannot solve all your problems, but refusal to reasoning causes more problems.
The chances are, if one refuses to reason at home, s/he is like to refuse to reason in the outside world as well. We'd better show the kids that the world is a wholly consistent place.
To say "家不是讲理的地方" may be pragmatic or convenient, but it's terribly short-sighted -- you may get temporary compromise, but the negative impact will come back to haunt you!
With a lot of respect to 樱桃果叶 -- I just have to stand up and disagree on this one.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
Reasoning is an important way of maintaining everyone's consistency, integrity and sanity, and improving the communication and understanding among family members.
It's true that differences in initial standing points cannot be reconciled by reasoning. However, more often than not, spouses do share a common ground in their value systems. It's the pre-occupying sense of authority (to children) and entitlement (to spouse) -- often in the name of "love" -- that prevents them from reaching the same conclusions -- which would have been possible via sound reasoning.
Reasoning cannot solve all your problems, but refusal to reasoning causes more problems.
The chances are, if one refuses to reason at home, s/he is like to refuse to reason in the outside world as well. We'd better show the kids that the world is a wholly consistent place.
To say "家不是讲理的地方" may be pragmatic or convenient, but it's terribly short-sighted -- you may get temporary compromise, but the negative impact will come back to haunt you!
With a lot of respect to 樱桃果叶 -- I just have to stand up and disagree on this one.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net