本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A recent survey was conducted to discover why men get out of bed in the middle of the night.
5% said it was to get a glass of water,
12% said it was to go the toilet,
83% said it was to go home.
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A MAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST ... He's sitting at the table and his son is on the cover of the box of Wheaties. His mistress is on the cover of Playboy. And his wife is on the back of the milk carton.
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A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking out, the husband says, "Watch the wall!"
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My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight!" He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
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It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money,"she replied.
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The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, "What's this?" "A horsey,"one child answers. "And this?" the teacher asks. "A piggy," replies another youngster. "And now this one?" asks the teacher, holding up a picture of a male deer with a beautiful rack of antlers. There was no answer, only total silence. "Come now, children," she coaxes, "I'll give you a little hint. What
does your mommy call your Daddy when he hugs and kisses her a lot?" "I know!I know!!" exclaims one little girl. "It's a horny bastard!"
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Q : What must a woman do when a man is running around in circles?
A : Reload, adjust the scope, and carry on shooting.
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Q : Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease?
A : Because it only attacks the brain.
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Q : What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A : A rumor
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A couple are lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says: "I will surely miss you"
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The 5 stages of a woman's life:
1. To grow up.
2. To fill out.
3. To slim down.
4. To hold it in.
5. To hell with it.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
5% said it was to get a glass of water,
12% said it was to go the toilet,
83% said it was to go home.
*****************************
A MAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST ... He's sitting at the table and his son is on the cover of the box of Wheaties. His mistress is on the cover of Playboy. And his wife is on the back of the milk carton.
*********************************
A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan.They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then finally dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they are walking out, the husband says, "Watch the wall!"
**************************************
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight!" He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
********************
It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money,"she replied.
**********************
The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks, "What's this?" "A horsey,"one child answers. "And this?" the teacher asks. "A piggy," replies another youngster. "And now this one?" asks the teacher, holding up a picture of a male deer with a beautiful rack of antlers. There was no answer, only total silence. "Come now, children," she coaxes, "I'll give you a little hint. What
does your mommy call your Daddy when he hugs and kisses her a lot?" "I know!I know!!" exclaims one little girl. "It's a horny bastard!"
************************************
Q : What must a woman do when a man is running around in circles?
A : Reload, adjust the scope, and carry on shooting.
*************************************
Q : Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease?
A : Because it only attacks the brain.
*************************************
Q : What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A : A rumor
*************************************
A couple are lying in bed. The man says: "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world" The woman says: "I will surely miss you"
*************************************
The 5 stages of a woman's life:
1. To grow up.
2. To fill out.
3. To slim down.
4. To hold it in.
5. To hell with it.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net