×

Loading...
Ad by
  • 最优利率和cashback可以申请特批,好信用好收入offer更好。请点链接扫码加微信咨询,Scotiabank -- Nick Zhang 6478812600。
Ad by
  • 最优利率和cashback可以申请特批,好信用好收入offer更好。请点链接扫码加微信咨询,Scotiabank -- Nick Zhang 6478812600。

my suggestion

u'd better concentrate more on bad aspects of her activities. she is not that pure...or, at least ,she does not care u as she says. u both r different, and the difference resides in ur value judgment. dont be attracted by difference, try to concentrate more on her value judgment, which has been well proved by her activities. dont lie to urself, u can find many excuses for her activities...but how can u cheat urself forever when u r out of the pre-marriage blur in judging whether she is the one u want?

I have to say. though in somewhat prejudiced manner, gal is good at dealing with guys, especially guys with pure and good intension to his marriage and family.

it may be hard for u to keep unbiased in handling this tough and hurting disloyalty...so i really hope u can leave it alone for some time and c what happens then.

but dont make any decision hastily. give urself some time to think about it.

anyway, good luck buddy.
Report

Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 恳求大家给我建议,我这痛苦的选择
    我和我的女朋友相识三年了,我来到加拿大之后,她一个
    人留在深圳工作,我们几乎每天都通电话,现在我们已经讨论婚嫁的问题,但是最近就在我准备考虑回去结婚的时
    候,我非常偶然的发现她在深圳的这段时间里和某几个男人有过不寻常的关系,在我的逼问下,她承认了在我离开
    的日子里和他们有过关系,我非常愤怒的问她是为什么,
    她说实在是由于孤独,她一个人住在深圳,有时是需要
    有人来关心和爱的,或者是一时的激情才越了轨,并说
    她其实并没有考虑过和他们过生活,也只有我才是真
    正可以托负的人,希望我能再一次原谅她的错误,让她
    痛改前非,原来在我看来,她是一个纯洁的女孩,而现在在我准备回去结婚的时候却发生了这样的事,我非常痛苦
    我不知道是否可以原谅她的这些形为,特别是我想到如果
    我和她结婚后,也需要等一年的时间她才能过来,我们又
    不在一起,如果再出现这些事的话怎么办,她说她一定
    痛改前非的,但我却没有把握,请问过来人你们如何看
    待这件事呢,如果有在座的女性朋友帮小弟分析一下
    是否女孩子一个人在深圳生活都会遇到这样的问题呢
    我的下一步怎么办,真的我现在要进行这个痛苦的选择
    了,谢谢
    • 又是一個情感問題!俺想先問一下,“非常偶然的发现”你是怎么發現的?
      • Dump her, or you will regret.
    • 趁一切都没有开始,什么都来得及。
    • 用亦舒的话讲,如果你爱她,她的过去并不重要。如果你不爱她,她的过去跟你没有关系。自己悟吧。
    • 看你对她的感情是否足以包容这些了。不过,如果她是和几个男人有不寻常的关系的话,还是考虑清楚一些。如果仅仅因为寂寞,找一个做替代品就够了吧.....纯属个人乱猜。
      • 信心崩溃以后,包容已经无济于事,除非他乐于接受她经常红杏出墙。这个问题的解决在于她,她能否让他重建对自己对爱的信心?
    • DEFINITELY NOT!!!!! Something happened because it must happen, nothing to do with ShenZhen's. So it may happen again and again and again.
      • Agree. She's not a 'pure' girl any more. Slut doesn't deserve to be loved.
    • 我想她说的话有可能是真心话,也是实情。她的确没有把那些人当回事,排解寂寞而已。
      你可以相信她的话,但也要看她的本性。如果她不是一个自立坚强的人,也许下次“孤独寂寞”时,她还会犯同样的错误。

      她不一定是有意的,也许经过激烈的思想头争。但有时,人的本性是不能改变的,也是理智无法左右的。

      你应该最了解她,不要光从这一件事上看这个问题。要看她的本性:是不是能遵守诺言?是不是任性?是不是很脆弱?等等。只有知道她为人处事的一贯风格,才能推测她今后的行为。
    • 几个男人,好象太什么了一点。你心里能承受吗?真能承受的话,就在一起,如果总是觉得别扭,就算了。否则永远是一个难解的结!
      • 这是我女朋友说的。说得真好!我赞同!
        • 你女朋友发现你又偷偷的上了rolia,还不打死你。:)
          • 已经被发现,被罚洗碗,烧菜,做饭,擦地板。还好加拿大没有搓衣板卖 :〉
            • 但是有卖主板的哦,HOHO:P
              • 抵制家庭暴力!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                • 呵呵,开玩笑开玩笑.这么好的主板估计你女朋友也不舍得给你跪吧:P:P
                  • 嗨,女人倒真是麻烦,电脑游戏不让玩,这连上rolia都严令禁止啊?
    • 一次不忠可能是偶然的错误,多次出轨是一生的错误.这样的女生,不能娶呀!呵呵
    • How could she receive telephone in the morning and sleep with others in the night? Definitely forget her. Even she marry you, I bet she will not come in the final. You are not important in her eyes.
    • 如果她和1个男人发生感情,是可以理解的,和几个男人发生那个,就说明太轻浮了点,轻浮的女子都爱慕虚荣,你认为你想要这样的另1半吗,你有实力和勇气去接受将来吗,如果YES,GO AHEAD。
      • 我看也是,天天电话都这样...还是不要的好
      • 放弃!-来自JJ的建议。
    • my suggestion
      u'd better concentrate more on bad aspects of her activities. she is not that pure...or, at least ,she does not care u as she says. u both r different, and the difference resides in ur value judgment. dont be attracted by difference, try to concentrate more on her value judgment, which has been well proved by her activities. dont lie to urself, u can find many excuses for her activities...but how can u cheat urself forever when u r out of the pre-marriage blur in judging whether she is the one u want?

      I have to say. though in somewhat prejudiced manner, gal is good at dealing with guys, especially guys with pure and good intension to his marriage and family.

      it may be hard for u to keep unbiased in handling this tough and hurting disloyalty...so i really hope u can leave it alone for some time and c what happens then.

      but dont make any decision hastily. give urself some time to think about it.

      anyway, good luck buddy.
    • 如果你还爱她,就再给她一次机会吧。有些人很脆弱,感觉她当时可能就象断线的风筝。她知道错了,自然知道有些事试过了不值得再试。你们可以不忙着结婚,过一段时间你的感情会告诉你该怎样作决定。
      • 如果他们已婚并且有孩子,我同意你的看法。
        • nodnod
    • 总觉得凡事都有底线的,只是也许你并不自知而已,冷静冷静再说吧
      • 微妙,她完全有理由不告数你,看来还是比较纯洁,可娶
        • 拜托,使男方发现的。不然还蒙在鼓里呢。
    • 要是事先告诉你她寂寞,很需要人陪,然后征求你的意见,说明她很在乎你.如果是事后才承认,说明她事前并不CARE你的感受,爱怎样就怎样.这样的女人......娶了也是会红杏出墙的吧.
    • faint.有一次就会有二次,有二次就会有三次,有三次就什么都不怕了.哥们儿,让她自己过自己的生活吧.
    • 离开吧,好和好散。
    • 回头是岸
      兄弟, 三条腿的蛤蟆不好找,两条腿的人有的是. 江山易改,本性难移啊!
      别忘了新移民的离婚率可高达60%那. 千万不可一错再错.
      • 报告狐狸兄弟,我女朋友说了,在这里,两条腿的人是多,但是两条腿的女人不多。
    • 看你这样痛苦, 知道你和你女朋友不是一样的人. 最好分手.
    • 如果她爱他,那怎么会和其他的男人有不正当的关系呢
    • Dump her NOW! Having affairs with several men?!? What is she? We all know the roper name to call people like her! You deserve better than that!
    • 好好问问自己,你真的那么爱她吗?真的可以不计较她过去的一切吗?如果答案是肯定的,那么go ahead, marry her。如果你真的每想到她的过去就心痛,那你们一定没有未来。
    • 真正爱一个人的女孩是不会同时和其他某几个男人有过不寻常的关系的, 所以你确定你的女友爱你吗?
    • 我有不少朋友是一个人两眼一抹黑来到加拿大,.............
      我也是这样,我们也曾感到无助和寂寞,但我们该做什么不该做什么我们很清楚.其实你心里已经有了答案,只是眼下难以割舍而已.长痛不如短痛.即使你们将来结了婚,这也是一枚定时炸弹.如果一件衣服你在买的时候就有一点犹豫,回家后你还会再穿吗?个人意见,仅供参考.
      • :))是这个意思
        • 小豆还没睡哪.注意保护眼睛. 好了,我下网睡了
          • 是啊是啊,我也该下了:)
    • 中国古代有军令曰:凡降将必杀!!!
      这是原则问题,有些错误可以犯,有些是绝对不可以的。红杏出墙,自古就有,不过生下来就是猪,你想让它飞上天?---绝对不可能的。
    • sex only mean a part of life.
      I think that girl is a good one. though she did something you thought it's wrong. suppose if you are in her boat, what will you do ? when 2 people are together for marriage, sex is only a part of it. the mutual understanding is the key of long survival of the marriage. think about it.

      don't let yourself stray too far to lose it.
      • Agree