本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛《我还能说什么》2007-4
两年多前,大约在阑珊醉意里我哼哼唧唧地写了《等待,等待》。C看了后说,有点象《猜火车》的开场白:
“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?”
仔细想想,“主流”就是生活在流水线上,求学工作挣钱买房求偶繁殖养老,最后贴上“合格”标签装到棺材里,完成产品的一生。从原料到产品地过程里,“主流”从关注皮肤肌肉到关注肚腩,从关注诗歌到关注八卦,从关注激素到关注卡路里,从关注爱情到关注奸情,从关注避孕药到关注伟哥,从关注股票到关注养老,生活就这样在那条流水线的轨道上朽烂。
一切都在改变,一切也都象别里科夫的套子一样套住一切而没有改变。在臃肿肥胖的有产者思维里,所有的一切都拿腔拿调地优雅到薄薄的一本《格调》里。他们懂外语,懂LV,懂调情,懂渡假,懂红酒,懂不露声色的炫耀,懂稳妥安全,懂他妈的适时地不说“他妈的”,懂发财立品。还懂什么?
选择说:耳光响亮;等待说:唾面自干;生活说:一地鸡毛。得了,我还能说什么。
《等待,等待》2005-1
等待睡意降临,等待梦境,等待雪停,等待暖车,等待绿灯,等待电梯,等待电脑启动,等待打开网页,等待下一行字,等待邮件,等待水开,等待茶叶在水中绽放,等待开会,等待在饥饿中清醒,等待饭后的尼古丁,等待薪水,等待账单,等待利息下降,等待付清贷款,等待牙医预约,等待电话接通,等待超市结账,等待清理桌面,等待理发,等待周末,等待休假,等待花开半朵,等待酒喝微酡,等待发愣的时间,等待下载电影,等待小说结局,等待新闻,等待野史,等待焦虑,等待偏执,等待失望,等待自嘲,等待伪装,等待解构,等待沉默,等待爆发,等待无奈,等待获得,等待抵达,等待昨日泛黄,等待明天春暖,等待远行,等待忘记,等待皱纹更深,等待下一个等待,等待瞑目,等待尘埃落定。
为什么等待?到底是在等待,还是被等待?
是等待选择了我,还是我选择了等待?
能不能等待不再等待的日子,或者不再等待那一再等待的一切?更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
两年多前,大约在阑珊醉意里我哼哼唧唧地写了《等待,等待》。C看了后说,有点象《猜火车》的开场白:
“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?”
仔细想想,“主流”就是生活在流水线上,求学工作挣钱买房求偶繁殖养老,最后贴上“合格”标签装到棺材里,完成产品的一生。从原料到产品地过程里,“主流”从关注皮肤肌肉到关注肚腩,从关注诗歌到关注八卦,从关注激素到关注卡路里,从关注爱情到关注奸情,从关注避孕药到关注伟哥,从关注股票到关注养老,生活就这样在那条流水线的轨道上朽烂。
一切都在改变,一切也都象别里科夫的套子一样套住一切而没有改变。在臃肿肥胖的有产者思维里,所有的一切都拿腔拿调地优雅到薄薄的一本《格调》里。他们懂外语,懂LV,懂调情,懂渡假,懂红酒,懂不露声色的炫耀,懂稳妥安全,懂他妈的适时地不说“他妈的”,懂发财立品。还懂什么?
选择说:耳光响亮;等待说:唾面自干;生活说:一地鸡毛。得了,我还能说什么。
《等待,等待》2005-1
等待睡意降临,等待梦境,等待雪停,等待暖车,等待绿灯,等待电梯,等待电脑启动,等待打开网页,等待下一行字,等待邮件,等待水开,等待茶叶在水中绽放,等待开会,等待在饥饿中清醒,等待饭后的尼古丁,等待薪水,等待账单,等待利息下降,等待付清贷款,等待牙医预约,等待电话接通,等待超市结账,等待清理桌面,等待理发,等待周末,等待休假,等待花开半朵,等待酒喝微酡,等待发愣的时间,等待下载电影,等待小说结局,等待新闻,等待野史,等待焦虑,等待偏执,等待失望,等待自嘲,等待伪装,等待解构,等待沉默,等待爆发,等待无奈,等待获得,等待抵达,等待昨日泛黄,等待明天春暖,等待远行,等待忘记,等待皱纹更深,等待下一个等待,等待瞑目,等待尘埃落定。
为什么等待?到底是在等待,还是被等待?
是等待选择了我,还是我选择了等待?
能不能等待不再等待的日子,或者不再等待那一再等待的一切?更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net