本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛《我还能说什么》2007-4
两年多前，大约在阑珊醉意里我哼哼唧唧地写了《等待，等待》。C看了后说，有点象《猜火车》的开场白：
“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?”
仔细想想，“主流”就是生活在流水线上，求学工作挣钱买房求偶繁殖养老，最后贴上“合格”标签装到棺材里，完成产品的一生。从原料到产品地过程里，“主流”从关注皮肤肌肉到关注肚腩，从关注诗歌到关注八卦，从关注激素到关注卡路里，从关注爱情到关注奸情，从关注避孕药到关注伟哥，从关注股票到关注养老，生活就这样在那条流水线的轨道上朽烂。
一切都在改变，一切也都象别里科夫的套子一样套住一切而没有改变。在臃肿肥胖的有产者思维里，所有的一切都拿腔拿调地优雅到薄薄的一本《格调》里。他们懂外语，懂LV，懂调情，懂渡假，懂红酒，懂不露声色的炫耀，懂稳妥安全，懂他妈的适时地不说“他妈的”，懂发财立品。还懂什么？
选择说：耳光响亮；等待说：唾面自干；生活说：一地鸡毛。得了，我还能说什么。
《等待，等待》2005-1
等待睡意降临，等待梦境，等待雪停，等待暖车，等待绿灯，等待电梯，等待电脑启动，等待打开网页，等待下一行字，等待邮件，等待水开，等待茶叶在水中绽放，等待开会，等待在饥饿中清醒，等待饭后的尼古丁，等待薪水，等待账单，等待利息下降，等待付清贷款，等待牙医预约，等待电话接通，等待超市结账，等待清理桌面，等待理发，等待周末，等待休假，等待花开半朵，等待酒喝微酡，等待发愣的时间，等待下载电影，等待小说结局，等待新闻，等待野史，等待焦虑，等待偏执，等待失望，等待自嘲，等待伪装，等待解构，等待沉默，等待爆发，等待无奈，等待获得，等待抵达，等待昨日泛黄，等待明天春暖，等待远行，等待忘记，等待皱纹更深，等待下一个等待，等待瞑目，等待尘埃落定。
为什么等待？到底是在等待，还是被等待？
是等待选择了我，还是我选择了等待？
能不能等待不再等待的日子，或者不再等待那一再等待的一切？更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
两年多前，大约在阑珊醉意里我哼哼唧唧地写了《等待，等待》。C看了后说，有点象《猜火车》的开场白：
“Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?”
仔细想想，“主流”就是生活在流水线上，求学工作挣钱买房求偶繁殖养老，最后贴上“合格”标签装到棺材里，完成产品的一生。从原料到产品地过程里，“主流”从关注皮肤肌肉到关注肚腩，从关注诗歌到关注八卦，从关注激素到关注卡路里，从关注爱情到关注奸情，从关注避孕药到关注伟哥，从关注股票到关注养老，生活就这样在那条流水线的轨道上朽烂。
一切都在改变，一切也都象别里科夫的套子一样套住一切而没有改变。在臃肿肥胖的有产者思维里，所有的一切都拿腔拿调地优雅到薄薄的一本《格调》里。他们懂外语，懂LV，懂调情，懂渡假，懂红酒，懂不露声色的炫耀，懂稳妥安全，懂他妈的适时地不说“他妈的”，懂发财立品。还懂什么？
选择说：耳光响亮；等待说：唾面自干；生活说：一地鸡毛。得了，我还能说什么。
《等待，等待》2005-1
等待睡意降临，等待梦境，等待雪停，等待暖车，等待绿灯，等待电梯，等待电脑启动，等待打开网页，等待下一行字，等待邮件，等待水开，等待茶叶在水中绽放，等待开会，等待在饥饿中清醒，等待饭后的尼古丁，等待薪水，等待账单，等待利息下降，等待付清贷款，等待牙医预约，等待电话接通，等待超市结账，等待清理桌面，等待理发，等待周末，等待休假，等待花开半朵，等待酒喝微酡，等待发愣的时间，等待下载电影，等待小说结局，等待新闻，等待野史，等待焦虑，等待偏执，等待失望，等待自嘲，等待伪装，等待解构，等待沉默，等待爆发，等待无奈，等待获得，等待抵达，等待昨日泛黄，等待明天春暖，等待远行，等待忘记，等待皱纹更深，等待下一个等待，等待瞑目，等待尘埃落定。
为什么等待？到底是在等待，还是被等待？
是等待选择了我，还是我选择了等待？
能不能等待不再等待的日子，或者不再等待那一再等待的一切？更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net