本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Dear Mr. and Mrs. Mitra,
My name is Gopal Mehta, and I’m a 2nd year banking analyst at the most prestigious firm on Wall Street. This morning, I received an email from my mother that read; “Beta, how do you like this lovely Indian girl?” and she pasted me a link to the New York Magazine article featuring your daughter, the private equity associate at Carlyle, Natasha.
http://nymag.com/fashion/lookbook/32096/
As soon as I opened the link and saw your daughter there looking all glam and urban and hip, I knew we were destined for one another. I read her interview, and visions of us skipping about on icy mountaintops in tank tops and me riding in on a horse to wed Natasha have literally taken over my mind. The wedding I’m imagining will be make the Mittals’ look like a glorified civil union (I was Princeton, too. Imagine how much orange we could use!).
I’ve found myself spelling out NATASHA in my Excel worksheets with red formatted cells all day long (F4 facilitates doing this, fyi). The sweet sounds of bhangra are playing in my head even as I write this email.
Look at your daughter. Just look at her. She’s amazing.
Well, I mean, I can’t exactly see her from behind that huge ass duffel bag and those snowboarding goggles, but from what I can distinguish of her face, it looks like the $15k you invested in electrolysis has served its purpose (and with limited scarring — nice work!). On a side note, are you sure that bag’s Vuitton? I’m no expert, but it kinda looks like a sack of rice hung itself with a thick noose. Whatever, at this point my only other option here is Kavita, the IT chick that brings her lunch to work in a brown paper bag (how tragic is that, btw?).
Anyhow, back to the point. I know Natasha is “wild and crazy and different,” as she puts it, and that’s why I know we’d be good for each other—because we both pride ourselves on our individuality. I mean, heck, we’re both in Finance, right?
I also find it comforting Natasha has people who pick bags for her and decide what she will like; I, too, prefer to have my tastes being dictated to me. At the same time, though, Natasha buys from off-the-radar designers like Versace, Gucci, Dior, and D&G—and that’s exactly the kind of personal flair I’m looking for in a girl. Does she by any chance have a Vera Bradly small duffel?! Damn, those are hot.
Cause I’m an upfront guy, Mr. and Mrs. Mitra, I’ll put it out there so it’s not an issue in the future—I’m a year younger than Natasha. I urge you, though, not to weigh that too heavily. What I lack in age, I will make up for in prestige. I’ve already (basically) got a position secured at a top PE firm (I would have gone with Carlyle if I had realized that had such foxes), and I’m getting 800’s on all my practice GMATs. I’m not in at HBS just yet, but hey, at least I’m not Muslim, right?
Here’s the most important thing, though—I’ll take care of your daughter and treat her right. Natasha’s is all about “consuming.” As she says, “consuming is her specialty.” That’s classy. And as it turns out, I’m all about “providing.” Once she quits her job, I’ll provide her with a home, a stipend, and all the clothes and valium she’ll ever need. One thing: it might be a few months before I can take down $3,500 bags on a weekly basis. We do get to keep using your AMEX in the interim, right?
Your astrologer or ours?
Best,
Gopal
p.s. I hope she’s talking about consuming goods and not consuming meat (not ok with Mommy, or Krishna for that matter).
p.p.s. Please disregard entire email if you are South Indian and/or Christian.
Footnote:
Dear Bear, Sterns, & Co:
Perhaps a bit crude to post about your ex-Bankers in succession, but, as you understand, this could not be avoided. More importantly, it’s curious exactly what kind of environment at Bear (perhaps just the name) exists that facilitates your Bankers having such big chips on their shoulders that they need to show the world how blinged-out they are by talking to the media.
But either way, great with work both Natasha and Andrew. And please, keep doing what you’re doing.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
My name is Gopal Mehta, and I’m a 2nd year banking analyst at the most prestigious firm on Wall Street. This morning, I received an email from my mother that read; “Beta, how do you like this lovely Indian girl?” and she pasted me a link to the New York Magazine article featuring your daughter, the private equity associate at Carlyle, Natasha.
http://nymag.com/fashion/lookbook/32096/
As soon as I opened the link and saw your daughter there looking all glam and urban and hip, I knew we were destined for one another. I read her interview, and visions of us skipping about on icy mountaintops in tank tops and me riding in on a horse to wed Natasha have literally taken over my mind. The wedding I’m imagining will be make the Mittals’ look like a glorified civil union (I was Princeton, too. Imagine how much orange we could use!).
I’ve found myself spelling out NATASHA in my Excel worksheets with red formatted cells all day long (F4 facilitates doing this, fyi). The sweet sounds of bhangra are playing in my head even as I write this email.
Look at your daughter. Just look at her. She’s amazing.
Well, I mean, I can’t exactly see her from behind that huge ass duffel bag and those snowboarding goggles, but from what I can distinguish of her face, it looks like the $15k you invested in electrolysis has served its purpose (and with limited scarring — nice work!). On a side note, are you sure that bag’s Vuitton? I’m no expert, but it kinda looks like a sack of rice hung itself with a thick noose. Whatever, at this point my only other option here is Kavita, the IT chick that brings her lunch to work in a brown paper bag (how tragic is that, btw?).
Anyhow, back to the point. I know Natasha is “wild and crazy and different,” as she puts it, and that’s why I know we’d be good for each other—because we both pride ourselves on our individuality. I mean, heck, we’re both in Finance, right?
I also find it comforting Natasha has people who pick bags for her and decide what she will like; I, too, prefer to have my tastes being dictated to me. At the same time, though, Natasha buys from off-the-radar designers like Versace, Gucci, Dior, and D&G—and that’s exactly the kind of personal flair I’m looking for in a girl. Does she by any chance have a Vera Bradly small duffel?! Damn, those are hot.
Cause I’m an upfront guy, Mr. and Mrs. Mitra, I’ll put it out there so it’s not an issue in the future—I’m a year younger than Natasha. I urge you, though, not to weigh that too heavily. What I lack in age, I will make up for in prestige. I’ve already (basically) got a position secured at a top PE firm (I would have gone with Carlyle if I had realized that had such foxes), and I’m getting 800’s on all my practice GMATs. I’m not in at HBS just yet, but hey, at least I’m not Muslim, right?
Here’s the most important thing, though—I’ll take care of your daughter and treat her right. Natasha’s is all about “consuming.” As she says, “consuming is her specialty.” That’s classy. And as it turns out, I’m all about “providing.” Once she quits her job, I’ll provide her with a home, a stipend, and all the clothes and valium she’ll ever need. One thing: it might be a few months before I can take down $3,500 bags on a weekly basis. We do get to keep using your AMEX in the interim, right?
Your astrologer or ours?
Best,
Gopal
p.s. I hope she’s talking about consuming goods and not consuming meat (not ok with Mommy, or Krishna for that matter).
p.p.s. Please disregard entire email if you are South Indian and/or Christian.
Footnote:
Dear Bear, Sterns, & Co:
Perhaps a bit crude to post about your ex-Bankers in succession, but, as you understand, this could not be avoided. More importantly, it’s curious exactly what kind of environment at Bear (perhaps just the name) exists that facilitates your Bankers having such big chips on their shoulders that they need to show the world how blinged-out they are by talking to the media.
But either way, great with work both Natasha and Andrew. And please, keep doing what you’re doing.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
