本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛我把jnash收录的安钢很久以前的练笔true love拿出来,这是他在seneca(在这里他有幸认识了他老婆的姐姐)进修期间写的小论文。从文中看出,他对true love的理解十分理想化,我们不妨也参考这个标准去寻找和经营自己的true love,一旦找到,不枉此生。
From: jnash(加拿大生活) To: cnca70 Reply Mark this message
Sent: 2007-02-13 19:32 (EST)
True Love
We humans are emotional beings. And our emotions are generally divided into two categories: positive and negative. Love is an outstanding type of positive emotion, and, in its extreme form, there is true love.
If you look up the word love in The American Heritage Dictionary, you’ll find quite a few definitions about love: “A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person”, “A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person,” or “An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object”. While love in general is a positive feeling for anything that pleases us, true love is an intense, warm, healthy and happy feeling only for our peer humans. It is full of affection, devotion and appreciation, all for the sake of love and love only. It is not there to exchange for dependence, intrusion or a superior feeling over others.
True love is first expressed in the form of affection, that is, caring, nurturing, and supporting. The affection is there for no reasons or purposes, only for love. Though an equal affection from the loved ones is also welcome, true love never counts on it in the first place. The best example is the affection parents have for kids. When the kids are young, the parents give all their earthly affection by providing everything the kids need: food and clothes, toys and trips, good manners and college education, etc., etc. Before the kids are independent, the parents never stop caring, nurturing, or supporting. In fact, a majority of parents continue to show their affection even though their offspring are out there in the society. However, they never count on it that some day they will depend on their children, poor or rich, failure or success. They know the affection they render never secures them of the dependence on their children. But they just keep doing it. The reason is simple: behind the affection, there is a true love, not a trade for dependence.
Just as affection is not there to trade for dependence, true love in its next form of devotion does not pay the right to intrude on others either. In other words, devotion of true love means only a determination of offering, contributing and sacrificing to others. And true love does not necessarily assume that the devotion must be accepted, nor does it allow a single step further against the will of others. No matter how devoted, true love never finds the least excuse to force on others. For instance, Joe practiced his devotion to Laura in his own way. He tried everything he could think of, but a year later Laura said goodbye to him. She said she did not like the way he sometimes acted. Now and then, he brought her some daily necessities in spite of her thankful refusal many a time. Other times, he decided to take her out for a dinner or a movie without checking with her about the time. He just came to fetch her. Thus, it is apparent that Joe lost Laura because he was breaking the law of true love. True love is devoted but cannot be mixed with intruding.
If devotion is there to initiate affections for others, then appreciation in true love always strives to pay it back. By appreciation, true love not only shows respect, admiration and esteem for others, but also presents gratitude and acknowledgment to each other in the same time. For sure, true love is not there to gain a superior feeling or control over others. Instead, there is always a reciprocal thankfulness and gratitude between the loving and loved. True love is shared between equal peers. For instance, decade-long old friends exchange gifts or visit each other occasionally. Whatever is exchanged or done diplomatically, the real emotion behind is a mere appreciation of each other. They both enjoy equal importance and respect. No one is superior or inferior; no one is controlling or controlled. In contrast, charity cannot be deemed as true love because donors exchange their money or possessions for a superior feeling or control over the poor whereas relief receivers trade their sympathy for food or clothes. They are by no means equal, and they do not share earnest appreciation for each other at all. Charity is a kind of love but not true love.
In conclusion, true love is the kind of love that is soaked with a whole-hearted unselfish affection for others, supported by a long lasting devotion to others, and that is reacted upon in a reciprocal appreciation. It is the purest, most intense, and complete of all positive emotions. It is precious because it is not easy or simple to love in that way. Sometimes, true love even takes real, real pain.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
From: jnash(加拿大生活) To: cnca70 Reply Mark this message
Sent: 2007-02-13 19:32 (EST)
True Love
We humans are emotional beings. And our emotions are generally divided into two categories: positive and negative. Love is an outstanding type of positive emotion, and, in its extreme form, there is true love.
If you look up the word love in The American Heritage Dictionary, you’ll find quite a few definitions about love: “A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person”, “A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person,” or “An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object”. While love in general is a positive feeling for anything that pleases us, true love is an intense, warm, healthy and happy feeling only for our peer humans. It is full of affection, devotion and appreciation, all for the sake of love and love only. It is not there to exchange for dependence, intrusion or a superior feeling over others.
True love is first expressed in the form of affection, that is, caring, nurturing, and supporting. The affection is there for no reasons or purposes, only for love. Though an equal affection from the loved ones is also welcome, true love never counts on it in the first place. The best example is the affection parents have for kids. When the kids are young, the parents give all their earthly affection by providing everything the kids need: food and clothes, toys and trips, good manners and college education, etc., etc. Before the kids are independent, the parents never stop caring, nurturing, or supporting. In fact, a majority of parents continue to show their affection even though their offspring are out there in the society. However, they never count on it that some day they will depend on their children, poor or rich, failure or success. They know the affection they render never secures them of the dependence on their children. But they just keep doing it. The reason is simple: behind the affection, there is a true love, not a trade for dependence.
Just as affection is not there to trade for dependence, true love in its next form of devotion does not pay the right to intrude on others either. In other words, devotion of true love means only a determination of offering, contributing and sacrificing to others. And true love does not necessarily assume that the devotion must be accepted, nor does it allow a single step further against the will of others. No matter how devoted, true love never finds the least excuse to force on others. For instance, Joe practiced his devotion to Laura in his own way. He tried everything he could think of, but a year later Laura said goodbye to him. She said she did not like the way he sometimes acted. Now and then, he brought her some daily necessities in spite of her thankful refusal many a time. Other times, he decided to take her out for a dinner or a movie without checking with her about the time. He just came to fetch her. Thus, it is apparent that Joe lost Laura because he was breaking the law of true love. True love is devoted but cannot be mixed with intruding.
If devotion is there to initiate affections for others, then appreciation in true love always strives to pay it back. By appreciation, true love not only shows respect, admiration and esteem for others, but also presents gratitude and acknowledgment to each other in the same time. For sure, true love is not there to gain a superior feeling or control over others. Instead, there is always a reciprocal thankfulness and gratitude between the loving and loved. True love is shared between equal peers. For instance, decade-long old friends exchange gifts or visit each other occasionally. Whatever is exchanged or done diplomatically, the real emotion behind is a mere appreciation of each other. They both enjoy equal importance and respect. No one is superior or inferior; no one is controlling or controlled. In contrast, charity cannot be deemed as true love because donors exchange their money or possessions for a superior feeling or control over the poor whereas relief receivers trade their sympathy for food or clothes. They are by no means equal, and they do not share earnest appreciation for each other at all. Charity is a kind of love but not true love.
In conclusion, true love is the kind of love that is soaked with a whole-hearted unselfish affection for others, supported by a long lasting devotion to others, and that is reacted upon in a reciprocal appreciation. It is the purest, most intense, and complete of all positive emotions. It is precious because it is not easy or simple to love in that way. Sometimes, true love even takes real, real pain.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net