本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛it seems that whenever a tragic event occurs our community tend to launch a witch-hunt for a scapegoat. and that scapegoat most time happens to be the spouse of the deceased.
the whole discussion about this event is dominated by a certain kind of "victim mentality". we assume the widow was deceitful and she got to be the cause of the tragedy. We assume the deceased was victimized by the widow and the unhappy marriage. and this assumption became the foundation of our demand for justice to be done.
we should probably ask ourselves a few questions before jumping on the bandwagon for witch-hunt:
1. do we have enough respect for a man's wisdom and judgment? if we do then on what basis can we assume we are so much more clever than the deceased that we can see througth something he could not fathom?
2. do we have enough respect for a man's right of choice and dignity of free will? if we do then on what basis can we assume the deceased was led into a trap and buried by his own emotional blindness?
3. do we have enough respect for a human being's pursuit of happiness? if we do then on what basis can we blame the widow for leaving the deceased -- even if they only married a few months?
4. do we really always need someone to blame for the tragedies happened in our life? we choose the way we live and we choose the kind of creature we want to be. we should not "victimize" ourselves in order to blame others for the choice we made and the consequence we are going to suffer.
5. do we have the courage to face the fact that each of us has his/her own fate -- something that is "beyond my control" in most cases? if we do then we can look at the tragedies from a more Stoic perspective. or like Nietzsche said long time ago "Amor Fati" -- love of fate.
we should give the deceased enough respect and leave him in peace. he made his choice. he lived his life the way he wanted.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
the whole discussion about this event is dominated by a certain kind of "victim mentality". we assume the widow was deceitful and she got to be the cause of the tragedy. We assume the deceased was victimized by the widow and the unhappy marriage. and this assumption became the foundation of our demand for justice to be done.
we should probably ask ourselves a few questions before jumping on the bandwagon for witch-hunt:
1. do we have enough respect for a man's wisdom and judgment? if we do then on what basis can we assume we are so much more clever than the deceased that we can see througth something he could not fathom?
2. do we have enough respect for a man's right of choice and dignity of free will? if we do then on what basis can we assume the deceased was led into a trap and buried by his own emotional blindness?
3. do we have enough respect for a human being's pursuit of happiness? if we do then on what basis can we blame the widow for leaving the deceased -- even if they only married a few months?
4. do we really always need someone to blame for the tragedies happened in our life? we choose the way we live and we choose the kind of creature we want to be. we should not "victimize" ourselves in order to blame others for the choice we made and the consequence we are going to suffer.
5. do we have the courage to face the fact that each of us has his/her own fate -- something that is "beyond my control" in most cases? if we do then we can look at the tragedies from a more Stoic perspective. or like Nietzsche said long time ago "Amor Fati" -- love of fate.
we should give the deceased enough respect and leave him in peace. he made his choice. he lived his life the way he wanted.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net