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@Ontario

Tell u a story:

cathy345(雁河东)
本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛A girl and a boy fell in love when they were in college. It's the girl's first relationship also it's the boy's first.. when they graduated , the girl said I wanted to break up with u. Then they broke up. The boy was very sad. They were still friends. They both were thinking about join together again for two years. At the meanwhile , the girl went to Beijing and found a good job. The boy quit his job at small city , chased the girl to Beijing.
It's a chance finally get back together. But they failed. The girl found out herself changed. After worked in big city, she has moved on, her view and opion changed. The boy isn't fit her anymore. She made her mind : they can't get back . The boy was very very sad ,you know he chased the girl to Beijing , and failed.
The conclusion is the relationship like the mirror once broken can't fix it anymore.The first love is hard to get over.The boy and the girl took 2 years to get over it. Two years for young people are treasure.
My story didn't end here. It continued another two years.
The girl felt guilty for the boy. They didn't contact each other anymore. He posted sad articles on their classmate message board. The girl feel very bad about herself. They have ever love each other from heart. He suffers , she suffers too. She worried about him. She thought he lived in a bad life because of her.
After two years, the girl still single. one day, the girl suddenly found out the boy have girlfriend.The boy go out with his current girlfriend since he went back from Beijing.
She got very mad. She feel guilty , she feel bad about herself, she worried about him. She even punish herself for two years. But he make new girlfriend very fast , he live very good. He didn't tell her he's ok for two years. She feel hurt deeply.
Conclusion -- Anyone can live well without you, include your ex-boyfriend. Don't feel guilty . Don't punish youself. The whole world move on. Nothing stays.
I don't like to remenber this story.When i remember it, I feel hurt. and anger.更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
(#3136759@0)
Last Updated: 2006-8-11
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 只需要真诚的回复,谢谢. 如果你是我,该怎么办? -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 {213} (#3089254@0)
    一生中交过两个男友,一个是从小一起长大的相识近20年的前男友,因出国而分手;另一个是现男友.他们两个都是很不错的男人,对我都很好.问题出在我身上,我总是会拿前男友和现在的他进行比较,总会梦到前男友,并且在梦中哭醒.我该怎么办?
    • 人和人真得很不同，如果谁能让我总梦到还哭醒，那我一定毫不犹豫嫁。 -waterfirebalance(简简单单); 2006-7-19 (#3089274@0)
      • 问题是现在有两个都能让楼主哭醒， 比较的难 -ningxin0809(雁影行洲); 2006-7-19 (#3089285@0)
        • :) so funny -olicia(@_~); 2006-7-19 (#3089286@0)
        • 不,不是这样的.我真的不知道怎么办?很想念我前男友,可是,我说不出现男友的不好,因为他的确是个很好的人. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089298@0)
          • A "很好的人" is not necessary your Mr. Right, is it? -barefoot(Barefooter); 2006-7-19 (#3089512@0)
            • You said it. I do love and miss my ex for sure. And I know i will miss him for good. Especially when I heard that he was not well , my heart was almost bleeding. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 {66} (#3089573@0)
              But I really don't wanna do anything unfair to my present BF now.
              • I don't have good advices for you... but personally, I just don't think it would be a good idea to go back to your ex - -barefoot(Barefooter); 2006-7-19 {414} (#3089632@0)
                because I don't believe in "pe jing chong yuan" - things have changed, they will NEVER be the same again.... if I were you, I would treasure the past experience at the bottom of my heart, and start a new life with someone I truly love.... (sigh) "The first cut is the deepest..." I don't really know....because I am having a similar situaution in my own life now.... and I haven't found out what to do....
                • Yeah, I know it's hard to go back to the past. But he asked me to be back to him yesterday. That's why i am in a dilemma. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 {165} (#3089670@0)
                  But as you said, I treasure what i have now coz my present BF is really a nice guy who loves me. Maybe it's life. I have to move on. wish you can be as brave as me.
      • 原因在我,当时出国后,我们分手了,他一个人,我也一个人,可是去年认识了现在的男友,他人很好，对我也很好,而我没法跟现在的他说出分开的话.再者,我不知道我前男友现在是怎么想的. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089290@0)
      • 人各有痣, 理解万岁 -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 (#3089457@0)
    • 你这个是在作践自己,好好和现男友过日子吧. -pinkcloudy(pinkcloudy); 2006-7-19 (#3089281@0)
      • 是啊. 都分手了. 就和现在的男朋友好好过日子. 记住他是你的唯一. -ashdust(ash); 2006-7-19 (#3089293@0)
        • 谢谢你,我也这么告诉自己,可是总会无意识地进行对比,不知道为什么. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089317@0)
      • 我和前男友很久不联系了,前天我给国内的他打了个电话,他没接,昨天,我打电话,他接了,他说,回来吧,可是你要做好面对将来的一些困难的准备. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089304@0)
        • 什么困难？ -babyface(★又来了，又来了。★); 2006-7-19 (#3089646@0)
      • 谢谢你. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089318@0)
        • No problem -ashdust(ash); 2006-7-19 (#3089322@0)
    • 看来你喜欢那种万千宠爱在一身, 怜惜自己的感觉. 性格决定命运, 改变自己才能改变生活. -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 (#3089299@0)
      • 我的性格中的确有非常柔若的东西,我不想伤害现在的男友,况且他很爱我,对我很好,可我自己有时候很不争气,总会想到以前. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089313@0)
        • 你要自己做个决定啊. 只能跟定一个男人. 如果你都爱的话, 那就割舍一个. 给其中某一个希望, 也是拖延他的时间. 男人也不可能等你一辈子. 如果现在的男朋友真的很爱你的话, 你也爱他, 就忘记前男朋友吧. -ashdust(ash); 2006-7-19 (#3089319@0)
          • 或许是因为初恋,我总是会想起他,更重要的是我们认识了近20年,我们父母的关系也非常好,而我又知道他现在还一个人,哎!谢谢你,我知道还得我自己决定. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089338@0)
            • 你觉得他至今一个人是由于你吗？因此觉得对不起他吗？ -brokenmind9y(nothing); 2006-7-19 (#3089358@0)
              • 是的,很多人给他介绍对象,他都不见,性格也变了很多,不喜欢讲话了.我妈妈告诉我他6月份刚做了一个手术,人瘦了好多好多. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089452@0)
                • 别信以为真, 男人的心海底的针, 没有谁世界照旧在转. 别太高估自己在他心目中地位,不然以后你会后悔的. -pinkcloudy(pinkcloudy); 2006-7-19 (#3089472@0)
                  • 恩,我相信他曾经非常非常爱我,可是,时间过去2年了,我现在真的不大清楚了. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089482@0)
                  • Definitely. -asker(answer); 2006-7-19 (#3089662@0)
        • 感情毕竟是生活的中的上层建筑, 物质基础不稳定, 上层建筑也有可能摇摆不定, 生活中导致你摇摆的原因是多种的 -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 {89} (#3089327@0)
          做些有益于你身心的事情, 别胡思乱想. 男人总是有更好的, 可现在适合你的也许只有这个. 你说呢.
          • 恩,我都哭了一天了,很难受.不知道怎么办?我并不是朝三暮四,或许太念旧了,毕竟我们认识20年了.我会好好考虑的.你说的对. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089346@0)
            • 有时侯憋在自己的小屋里, 不如出去走走, 去图书馆看看书也好. -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 {83} (#3089355@0)
              你如果来的时间不长, 心理不稳定很正常. 多认识些朋友, 定一些奋斗目标. 满满的就充实了.
              • 恩,谢谢你.我的确憋的难受,感觉要崩溃了似的.还不能跟父母讲.谢谢你 -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089364@0)
                • 别学林黛玉, 自己伤害自己, 明知道还要伤害自己, 前车之见呀. -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 {59} (#3089386@0)
                  现在的社会, 什么东西都是靠自己奋斗得来的, 努力做点儿别的吧.
                  • 恩.觉得真的很压抑.我会努力调整心态的．或许真的回不到从前了．我们彼此已经走的太远了． -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089404@0)
                    • 移民路是条辛苦的路, 也许是未知的未来带来的无形压力, 但也带来无限的想象空间呀. 积极看待你现在的生活, 也许你会喜欢你现在的男朋友, 因为即使这么困难的压力重重的环境下, 他还是谈笑风生的. -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 {31} (#3089423@0)
                      你乐观了, 周围的花草都是在笑的.
                      • 是的,你说的有道理.或许是太在意以前的经历,才总觉得现在的他有这样那样的问题,其实问题都在我自己身上.性格决定命运.你说的很对.我会慎重地考虑,并积极地生活,谢谢你的中肯的建议,好人一生平安 -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089440@0)
        • 做梦不代表现实. 我也经常梦到前男友, 但是我不会回头也不会和前男友有任何联系, 我很珍惜现在的生活. 别让梦境左右你的心情. -pinkcloudy(pinkcloudy); 2006-7-19 (#3089347@0)
          • 恩.我也明白不应该再回头看的.可是当我听到我前男友让我回来的声音,我就犹豫了.其实,2年过去了,的确,我并不知道他这期间的历程.他也如此,我们彼此这段期间都是空白.我会认真考虑的.谢谢 -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089357@0)
    • 你更爱的是前男友，但你们未必会开花结果。如果我是你，会努力让自己忘记过去，让它成为美好的回忆。 -flamme(开心); 2006-7-19 {126} (#3089350@0)
      人同人不可以这么比较，对现在的他不公平。如果你也对他有感情，就不要这样伤害他了。或者继续，或者分开一段时间等你调理好心情再谈。
      • 是的,我同意你的观点.这也是让我很难受的一个原因,我觉得对现男友不公平.因为我跟他讲过我前男友的事情,他说,每个人都有过去,just let it go. I just treasure what I have now, it's you. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089377@0)
        • 记忆中的美好总是完美的, 所以你会觉得以前的好. 记忆中的伤痛总是相同的, 所以古人说 痛定思痛, 痛何如哉 -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 (#3089435@0)
          • 听君一席话,胜读10年书.可我知道他现在过的很不好.真的. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089454@0)
            • 如果你强大到可以操控自己的生活,那么下一步你可以强大到去影响别人的生活. 别以为别人是为了你活着, 也别以为自己是为了别人活着, 除了父母, 你说呢 -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 (#3089465@0)
              • 恩,是这样的.我父母依旧很喜欢他,昨天我们通电话了,他希望我回去.我没说回,也没说不回.可是,心里面开始有些动摇了. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089473@0)
                • 其实你自己也能意识到你并不是被感情困扰, 其实是被生活困扰, 移民生活是辛苦, 但大多数人努力了, 现在都挺好. 如果你想留下就努力, 想回去, 也不一定是坏主意 -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 (#3089653@0)
                  • 不,不是的.我在这里的工作应该还是可以的,不是生活的压力.来之前我就有job offer了.而是我爱他,也想他,可是怕回不到从前;而与此同时,我也真的不想伤害现男友. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089692@0)
                    • 我觉得移民在加拿大生活的压力是无形的, 不是有工作就解决了所有问题, 就象被关在一个空屋子里, 即使给你吃喝, 你能不寂寞不孤独不感到无助吗? 有工作后,这些问题更加突出. -peoplesoso(peoplesoso); 2006-7-19 {104} (#3089766@0)
                      不是国内的人有多好, 只是你太无助太没有寄托了, 现在能抓住的也就是以前的那点感情寄托了,毕竟心理那是完美的.
                      • 或许.我需要慎重地冷静地仔细考虑一下的.非常感谢您的建议.谢谢. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089793@0)
    • 问题出在你自己身上，别人没办法。不过，说不定可以看看心理医生，专家总是能有办法的。 -rollor(Rollor); 2006-7-19 (#3089475@0)
      • 恩,我知道问题在我身上.也想找到解决问题的办法.或许吧.谢谢你. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089490@0)
        • u r not special, I guess it's for everybody -sqlrpr(sqlrpr); 2006-8-12 (#3138375@0)
    • I myself don't believe any type of long-distance relationships, so that if I were you, I would give up the ex-boyfriend (if he could not immigrate to Canada and live in the same city with me.) -asker(answer); 2006-7-19 (#3089644@0)
      • Thank you for your advice. I do treasure what we had before, and what I have now as well. I know I have to move on though it's tough.Thanks. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089678@0)
    • 总比较也行，建议多拿现男友的长处与前男友的短处相比，行之有效。 -rogerz(piggy); 2006-7-19 (#3089645@0)
      • 可我发现我找不出前男友的短处,当然并不是说他没有.因为我习惯了吧.毕竟我们相识20年了,从小一起长大的.我会尽力去做的.谢谢您. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089685@0)
        • 当初如果选择了分手,肯定是有不能继续下去的原因, 不光是出国一个原因. 你们的感觉是停留在2年以前. 除非你选择回流, 不然一切都是毫无意义的空想. 说实话你现在的心态是同情他,而不是真正的爱和欣赏. -pinkcloudy(pinkcloudy); 2006-7-19 {165} (#3089720@0)
          实在放不下的话,就回国一次看看他, 做一个感情的了断. 不要告诉你现在男朋友,就说是回国看父母. 说不定你看到以前男朋友,就什么感觉都消失了, 然后安心回加拿大过日子. hehe....
          • 昨天,他也问我了同样的问题,我是否还爱他, 我说我很惦记并想他.应该有怜惜他的成分在里面.可是这样做总觉得不妥, 因为之前, 我没对现男友隐瞒任何以前的事情.让我想想. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089740@0)
            • I am not exactly sure what is going on in your current boyfriend's mind about your consistent comparing him with your ex. Even though guys may say something like "I don't care", but actually they do. -asker(answer); 2006-7-19 {159} (#3089833@0)
              Hopefully, things will be fine with you both. You may need to stop or at least decrease the frequency of mentioning your ex right in front of your current one.
              • An American relationship expert (I forgot his name) used to say that take "no" as "yes", and "don't care" as "care", that is, the relationship language. -asker(answer); 2006-7-19 (#3089837@0)
                • Thanks. I mentioned that I used to have an ex-BF before we went steady, I mean my current BF. But since we were together, I have never talked about my ex any more. I know I should forget , but it seems hard. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-20 (#3092055@0)
                  • Why is it hard? You cannot feel something that your ex has but your current one doesn't? Have you ever thought about making friends with other males, if your current one is not the ultimately ideal one? -asker(answer); 2006-7-21 (#3093400@0)
        • You feel your ex-boyfriend is good because he is far away from you with a distance beauty. But -rogerz(piggy); 2006-7-19 {126} (#3090221@0)
          the man in your hand is your real happiness. Please take good care of him. Otherwise, you will loose all you have but regrets.
          • Thank you, sir. I have made up my mind to go back to China in a month no matter what will happen. I know it's cruel to my present BF now, but I don't want to cheat him and myself as well. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-20 (#3092070@0)
    • 谢谢大家.非常感谢. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-19 (#3089805@0)
      • 你已经很幸福了！要珍惜呀！至少你还有选择爱哪一个的权利。要是像我，明明喜欢可却不能去爱，那岂不是更痛苦吗？做一个决定，就坚持下去吧。毕竟，爱是唯一的。 -dreamstorm(金戈铁马); 2006-7-19 (#3090003@0)
        • 谢谢. 我想我知道我要什么了.希望你也幸福. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-20 (#3092074@0)
    • 你如果不能放弃前男友,就应该对现男友讲.这对他公平.不必担心他会因此受伤,因为瞒得越久伤害越大. 你现在的作法是自私的. -calgarian(ThanksFlames); 2006-7-19 (#3090192@0)
      • 您说的对.我已经决定要这么做了.虽然这样做很残酷. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-20 (#3092080@0)
        • 等你回过头去找他, 遇到挫折, 痛苦, 你又会想念现在男友的好了........................呵呵, 折腾8, 反正你还年轻. 苦和甜自己能扛下来就好了. -armani7(be ready); 2006-7-20 (#3092294@0)
          • 我会记得您说的话.苦与甜都得自己扛,因为毕竟是自己作出的选择.谢谢 -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-20 (#3092314@0)
    • 实践是检验真理的唯一标准。我早就说过女人的第一次总是刻骨铭心的，这下该有人相信了吧 -orientalist(向前看); 2006-7-19 (#3090599@0)
      • I'ts not necessary that 女人的第一次总是刻骨铭心的. In LZ's case, her second one seems not as excellent as the first one by her own standard, so that LZ got this hassle. It depends. -asker(answer); 2006-7-20 (#3091104@0)
        • I never think my current BF is not as excellent as my ex just because I can't forget my ex. To be honest, my current BF is really a nice guy. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-20 (#3092111@0)
          • Even though you don't literally THINK or SAY your current one is not as excellent as the ex, subconsciously, human beings are yearning for better ones. -asker(answer); 2006-7-21 (#3093393@0)
      • 不知道您要论证什么.可是,不论男女都一样.初恋当然是刻骨铭心的,这是事实. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-20 (#3092085@0)
    • 不相信楼主的话。这么好的前男友，就因为出国就能分手。然后又结交一个新的。因为楼主拒绝批评，那么我只能说不相信。 -zheyi(葱花小油饼); 2006-7-20 (#3092223@0)
      • 您的相信与否都不重要.人，尤其是年轻的时候,有时候会很自私的为了满足所谓的理想,或者梦想之类虚无飘渺的东西而去放弃一些人生中更为重要的东西,比如踏实的平凡却真实的生活. -mimang(迷茫); 2006-7-20 {69} (#3092258@0)
        他们都是非常不错的人,如果说不好的话, 我觉得是我不好.仍然谢谢您的回复.
        • 掂量掂量哪个重，你的理想还是前男友？你总要舍弃一个吧，如果不能两全其美。 -choice(月光下的凤尾竹); 2006-7-20 (#3092516@0)
    • 问题在你的心里。你不可能同时拥有所有的好。或许你看看心理医生。 -oldfish(老鱼); 2006-8-11 (#3136077@0)
    • Tell u a story: -cathy345(雁河东); 2006-8-11 {2046} (#3136759@0)
    • 我觉得你爱的是你前男友,不知道你们为什么分手,20年青梅足马的感情是不容易变的啊,怎么出国就分手了呢,如果你想确认,你就应该回去一趟,跟着感觉走啊. -szqww(小家碧玉); 2006-8-11 (#3137146@0)

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