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@Ontario

单身女人要找爱自己的人怎么找?我的一点建议

missgirl(女人中的女人)
在国移男中占大多数的是中等收入(如软件工程师),低收入的(如工厂打工的),这两类男人, 在加拿大, 相对在中国而言, 一般婚前不会对女人太好,因为他们觉得钱经不起花,都会变得小气; 来加拿大的女孩呢,在和他们交朋友的的时候,最好放弃浪漫的想法,实际一点。在国内追求者少的女孩通常容易放下架子，甚至接受AA制的，最终很容易和他们结婚。

在国内追求者多的女孩，通常在刚来加拿大的时候还是会得到不少追求，但最后为何嫁不出去呢？因为你们找错的group，或者说因为你们错在有那些美好而浪漫的梦想。如果你们又不想找洋人的话，试试这里的BBC（包括移过来一、二十年的）吧。
(#2947046@0)
Last Updated: 2006-5-4
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 单身女人要找爱自己的人怎么找?我的一点建议 -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 {533} (#2947046@0)
    在国移男中占大多数的是中等收入(如软件工程师),低收入的(如工厂打工的),这两类男人, 在加拿大, 相对在中国而言, 一般婚前不会对女人太好,因为他们觉得钱经不起花,都会变得小气; 来加拿大的女孩呢,在和他们交朋友的的时候,最好放弃浪漫的想法,实际一点。在国内追求者少的女孩通常容易放下架子，甚至接受AA制的，最终很容易和他们结婚。

    在国内追求者多的女孩，通常在刚来加拿大的时候还是会得到不少追求，但最后为何嫁不出去呢？因为你们找错的group，或者说因为你们错在有那些美好而浪漫的梦想。如果你们又不想找洋人的话，试试这里的BBC（包括移过来一、二十年的）吧。
    • "BBC（包括移过来一、二十年的）吧"? You mean CBC (Chinese born in Canada)? I agree that some CBC is a perfect combination of traditional Chinese value and democratic Canadian ideal. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947160@0)
      • 早啊asker -may2002beijing(不会游泳的鱼); 2006-5-4 (#2947176@0)
        • Good morning, sis. :) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947199@0)
      • 提醒以句，不是所有的CBC（包括移过来一、二十年的）都好。有的会给你洗脑的。告诉你中国政府如何如何不好，等等。。。 -bookworm(初夏好心情); 2006-5-4 (#2948824@0)
        • I don't think all of them are good either, but I feel most of them that I know are pretty much straightforward, innocent and pleasant. I like most of them a lot. :) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2949101@0)
    • Not all Chinese male immigrants apply AA制, though. I haven't met those AA制 guys yet. SometimesI persisted in paying myself, they said no. Many white guys still pay for girls -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 {82} (#2947194@0)
      instead of AA制. I guess it all depends on what type of male friends you are with.
      • If letting guys pay, girls have to compensate in some way.... usu. sexually.... -crouchingdog(黑石头); 2006-5-4 {91} (#2948849@0)
        是不成文的规矩..... according to my knowledge. ..but nothing is absolute.... it depends....
        • If you use sex as the compensation to have free lunches, guys will soon feel tired of you, and leave you for new girls. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2949097@0)
    • 不同意. 至少我周围的朋友都挺大方的. 同女孩约会, 哪怕女孩再难看, 都不会不悦, 更不会AA. 没有感觉, 以后不见就是了. 没有找对GROUP是可以说, 但决不赞同女孩子应该放弃浪漫,主义放弃梦想. 好好努力的寻找, 会有的 -zaitoronto(在多伦多); 2006-5-4 (#2947724@0)
      • 当然, 适当的放下些架子是可以的. 好男人, 称的上好, 也毕竟不多. 再则, 一般的好国移, 多少会为自己的事业忙, 没有很多的时间来拍拖, 这些, 都是女孩子也要谅解的. -zaitoronto(在多伦多); 2006-5-4 (#2947739@0)
        • 最主要的, 一定要结交好的朋友, 人以群分. 相互介绍好的朋友, 圈子才会更大, 也才会有更多的朋友. 在这里有一个很不好的显现, 有很多人, 对方即使没有感觉也不介绍给别的朋友, 自己不知道为什么藏着, 不利人, 也不利己 -zaitoronto(在多伦多); 2006-5-4 (#2947772@0)
          • 听说过： 己所不欲，勿施于人。 吗？ -double07(望贴兴叹); 2006-5-4 (#2947798@0)
            • Right. I choose not to do those match-making stuff. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947818@0)
            • 不是物质的东西有公共的标准. 每个人对人的感觉是不同的, 不能以此来比较 -zaitoronto(在多伦多); 2006-5-4 (#2947935@0)
    • 遇到有吸引力的女孩，葛郎台都会变大方，关键看这个女孩有没有本事勾住对方的魂。 -lotustears(心想事成旺旺旺); 2006-5-4 (#2947767@0)
      • 钩的了一时, 钩不了永远. -zaitoronto(在多伦多); 2006-5-4 (#2947776@0)
        • Absolutely. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947783@0)
        • TW人够小气了吧，追求女孩时候手气很大的，男人遇到自己想得到的女人，都会变的大方的。 -lotustears(心想事成旺旺旺); 2006-5-4 (#2947797@0)
      • Are you sure? :) Most of my male friends know that I just take them as ordinary friends, and do not take them as my dates at all,but still they pay. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947780@0)
        • meet only once a year or what? -double07(望贴兴叹); 2006-5-4 (#2947793@0)
          • Once two weeks, which depends on our schedules. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947806@0)
            • Normally once two weeks...... when we are extremely busy, we get together once two months. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947810@0)
            • can someone here do the math to figure out HOW MANY MEN SHE WOULD NEED IN ORDER TO HAVE FREE LUNCH/DINER EVERYDAY? :) -double07(望贴兴叹); 2006-5-4 (#2947868@0)
              • I cannot help feeling sorry for you and those who need MEN IN ORDER TO HAVE FREE LUNCH/DINER EVERYDAY. YOu really make me laugh.:)))))))))))))))) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947895@0)
          • They always say something like "You are a student, ..." blah blah blah...then they pay. :) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947815@0)
        • 哈哈，我是针对楼主说这里的男人小气发言的。其实和不是自己心仪的男人吃饭，还是AA制好。不欠对方的。 -lotustears(心想事成旺旺旺); 2006-5-4 (#2947794@0)
          • It depends on the guys. If they persist in paying, just let it be. Otherwise, they won't feel good. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947813@0)
            • 和性格有关吧，我会坚持自己付自己那份，这样免得以后大家胡思乱想。 -lotustears(心想事成旺旺旺); 2006-5-4 (#2947843@0)
              • They won't 胡思乱想, if you make clarification. Sometimes they got mad, if you do not accept it. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947862@0)
                • 你的朋友是老外吧。如果是老中，容易胡思乱想的，以为是女孩的矜持。 -lotustears(心想事成旺旺旺); 2006-5-4 (#2947867@0)
                  • Both Chinese and white. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947874@0)
                • Agree! -paopao631(泡泡); 2006-5-5 (#2950069@0)
              • Let guys know that you are just one of their friends in the beginning and in the end directly or indirectly. Some guys don't take paying for girls as the way to get the girls. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947871@0)
          • 首先,这里谈的不是公务。我这个帖子针对的是各方面条件不错的lday, 对她们而言,“和不是自己心仪的男人吃饭”，并不是开始能预料的，如果能预料，为何与他们吃饭？ -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2947875@0)
            • 出去约会吃饭，自己带个皮夹子，如果不满意的AA制也不错啊。 -lotustears(心想事成旺旺旺); 2006-5-4 (#2947885@0)
              • I think whether AA制 or not does NOT matter. What matters is whether both parites accept it. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947902@0)
        • 结果你让他们pay了么？ -objectspace(New File Sys); 2006-5-4 (#2947826@0)
          • I did. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947836@0)
          • Once a guy got really mad at me, because I paid for the tip after he said "It's on me". -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947842@0)
        • treat you once you are the princess, treat you twice you are the panhandler, cuz you do need help. -marcelo(marcelo); 2006-5-4 (#2947837@0)
          • This sounds really interesting. :))))))) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947849@0)
          • I didn't ask them to pay, but I feel the reaon why they persist in doing it might be they feel they get help from me, who listen attentively to them, and contribute my time to them, as we all are so busy. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947855@0)
            • fair, money buys time. its ok. but i said an independent lady will be more acttractive in these days. one more thing, less is more, don't write too much. -marcelo(marcelo); 2006-5-4 (#2947927@0)
              • Just because you accept guys' payment doesn't necessarily mean you are not independent, right? -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947944@0)
                • In other words, a NOT independent girl wants or asks guys to pay, while an INDEPENDENT girl has the confidence to accept guys' payment without requiring or asking. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947947@0)
                  • you didn't get the point and wrote too much. i give you C-. -marcelo(marcelo); 2006-5-4 (#2947966@0)
                    • I got your point, which is that independent girls are more attractive. Yes, I absolutely agree, but my point is that an independent girl can accept guys' payment as well, -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 {80} (#2947987@0)
                      because independence or not does not lie in which one pay or which one does not.
                      • ...which one pays.. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947990@0)
                        • A+. (i shouldn't reply you in the first place) -marcelo(marcelo); 2006-5-4 (#2948011@0)
                          • I always got A or A+ at school. Thanks. :) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948015@0)
          • it's funny,what do you think treat someone three times,twenty times or every day? -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948220@0)
      • 大方得了一时， 大方不了一世。还是因人而异。 -bookworm(初夏好心情); 2006-5-4 (#2948829@0)
    • 建议二,女人在没有很准爱自己的人之前, 要自爱,还要自私; 如果爱自己多一些，就会自私多一些。一定要自私，因为你们的重点在找爱自己的人。不是说要永远多一些自私,以后到了Mr right，你对他也有爱了，自然会少些自私的。 -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2947827@0)
      • 做多了, 就成了习惯, 也不可能再改回来了. 没有好人会爱一个自私的女人. -zaitoronto(在多伦多); 2006-5-4 (#2947859@0)
        • Right. Perhaps the reason why some ladies end up alone after so many efforts might be that they are 自私 right at the beginning. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947907@0)
          • cannot bear anymore -no40wonder(不惑亦惑); 2006-5-4 {152} (#2948266@0)
            Grammar tip: Don't use why after reason. Instead you can use "that" or " which".
            I find you wrote like this many times but only point it out now.
            • The reason WHY or THAT (absolutely NO WHICH) I used it is that we have different teachers. Poor guy/gal, why do you need to bear my stuff? Just ignore it and go play Ping Pong. :) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948321@0)
              • As I know, you can't use "why" ABSOLUTELY after "reason" because doing so makes it have double wording. -no40wonder(不惑亦惑); 2006-5-4 {91} (#2948401@0)
                Pls verify it with a native people, a well educated one, not just a normal native speaker.
                • Thank you and I heard your voice. :) Well, still there is nothing wrong with putting "WHY" after "reason". -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948421@0)
                • Have a look: "Another Reason Why I Like My Mac..." http://tim.lauer.name/archives/000614.html -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948425@0)
                  • And you can NOT put 'which" after "reason". Absolutely not. Gee, I am not an English teacher. Please do forgive me for giving up. Thanks, though. :) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948429@0)
                    • forget "Which". THAT is absolute correct and WHY is absolutely incorrect. Let's bet? -no40wonder(不惑亦惑); 2006-5-4 {66} (#2948440@0)
                      Whoever loses will pay a Saturday buffet at a Mandarin restaurant.
                      • Shall we reserve our own editions? I won't make any bet with you, which is meaningless. Could you please take what you think right? Again, thanks. I will continue using "why" or "that". -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 {30} (#2948457@0)
                        Ignore it, when you see it. :)
                        • forget it -no40wonder(不惑亦惑); 2006-5-4 {200} (#2948691@0)
                          I just want to discuss English grammar seriously with you but if you think I am making trouble with you, then forget it!
                          Use whatever you think is right and I won't write anyting related to you, ok?
                          • Thanks, but I am really not the right person for you to discuss English grammar with, because I am not a teacher. Still I appreciate your enthusiasm. :) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2949110@0)
        • 我发现很多数的女孩子把握不好自私和独立的那个度.这是很多问题的根源. -paopao631(泡泡); 2006-5-5 (#2950084@0)
      • 自爱, but absolutely NOT 自私. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2947911@0)
      • 自私,并不是在所有的地方对所有的人。在特定的目的下,多一点自私,让漂亮优秀的女人不要在浪费时间。 -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948016@0)
        • But love or relationship needs 时间 to build up, doesn't it? -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948024@0)
          • 对,需要时间,不爱自己的人会忍受不了,很快就走;爱自己的人会留下. -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948055@0)
            • But sometimes some women give up too early and too soon, before men fall in love with them, which is a pity. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948096@0)
              • 我这个帖子不是针对所有女人的, 只针对要找爱自己男人的优秀女人,她们还没有找到,就不会投入，更谈不上放弃。 -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948117@0)
                • I think love is mutual, right? If a woman 不会投入, how can a man fall in love with her? Or if a man 不会投入, how can a woman fall in love with him? Are 投入 and love dependent on each other? -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 {34} (#2948130@0)
                  Without 投入, where is there love?
                  • Aren't.... -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948132@0)
                  • 你说的有道理，但爱有先有后，我不是对所有的女人都这么建议 -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948165@0)
      • 你的意思是说这种女人一开始要矜持一些吧？当然要自爱了。如自己都不爱自己，谁会爱你。 -bookworm(初夏好心情); 2006-5-4 (#2948846@0)
        • I think 矜持 is different from 自爱. Do you think so? -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2949113@0)
          • I agree with you. I actually compared 矜持 with 自私. I believe LZ meant that, for the kind of lady s/he talks about, don't give easily . -bookworm(初夏好心情); 2006-5-5 (#2949599@0)
    • 建议三, 要找爱自己的男人，女人要往上看，大男人才会呵护小女人。不否认在这里有很多优秀的男人，但是移民来的女性和男性是通过同样的标准和手续的，很多女人也很优秀而且美丽。 -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948047@0)
      • How do you think of the age gap? -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948101@0)
      • " Age Gap "不是指的生理年龄,是心理年龄。除去突发事件，有人50就自然死，有人100才死。有人40就不如老年，有人70还象中年。每个人都不一样，只有接触才知道。 -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948131@0)
      • 看你最好还是不要再有建议了. 回家学习学习再来建议 -zaitoronto(在多伦多); 2006-5-4 (#2948160@0)
        • 你是被这些标准筛下去的男人吗? 别是受不了了吧！我只建议一部分女人呀，还有好多女人没有这样的目的的。你还有很多机会的。而且你也可以发一个帖子，建议男人如何找到爱自己的女人呀！ -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948184@0)
          • 没有见过这样愚蠢还自以为是的想法. -zaitoronto(在多伦多); 2006-5-4 (#2948477@0)
      • 很多女人也很优秀而且美丽-- 是这样的么？应该是很多女人“觉得自己”也很优秀而且美丽 -objectspace(New File Sys); 2006-5-4 (#2948471@0)
        • Sadly true. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2949116@0)
    • LZ，请问你用你的方法找到你要的人了吗？实践出真知，得让结果说话呀。 -somewhere(身为女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948167@0)
      • 如果要把所有的方法和结果写出来,那时要出书收费的罗! -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948194@0)
        • 共享共享，让JMS早日脱离苦海啊。 -somewhere(身为女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948203@0)
          • 不要滥用啊!每人都不一样的, 有些姐妹喜欢自己赔钱也要嫁出去, 这些方法可是不实用的. -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948238@0)
            • Some women are more emotional than rational. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948328@0)
            • 哦，找个人是一定要嫁的呀？ -somewhere(身为女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948332@0)
              • Gee, I wonder how many women get into relationship or love for the sake of nothing but relationship or love. -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2948352@0)
                • :)))))))) -somewhere(身为女人); 2006-5-4 (#2948460@0)
    • 写一本参考书"HOW TO FIND A HUSBAND AND KEEP HIM" -freaky(多伦多非淑女生活); 2006-5-4 (#2948851@0)
      • Or a book about how to lose the guys that you dislike in 10 days. :) -asker(asker); 2006-5-4 (#2949120@0)
      • wrong,本书目的不在于"FIND A HUSBAND AND KEEP HIM",a lot of man married,but they don't love their wife . 本书目的在于"Find a man who love me" 或 "how to kick out the man who don't love you as soon as possible" -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-5 (#2950027@0)
    • 强烈反对你的建议!!!!....理由吗? -serenade123(橘子红了); 2006-5-4 {45} (#2949211@0)
      不说了....一两句和你说不清楚...偶先睡觉去了..
      • 不奇怪啦。那些从心底赞同LZ说法的男人，一定被女人追得无处可藏，并且早已被拿下。 -bookworm(初夏好心情); 2006-5-5 (#2949605@0)
        • 这些男人实在是... -serenade123(橘子红了); 2006-5-5 {12} (#2951499@0)
          悲哀....:)))
          • 那你一定是个幸福男人喽。祝贺你啊。：）） -bookworm(初夏好心情); 2006-5-6 (#2951729@0)
    • 时代果然是进步了，果然感觉比“吴妈，俺想和你睡觉“进化了很多。 -samedayrightaway(赶路一族); 2006-5-5 (#2950674@0)
    • 建议四, 真爱一个女人的男人一定会在很多时候主动买礼物给她，礼物价值大小看他个人能力而定。 -missgirl(女人中的女人); 2006-5-6 (#2951544@0)
      • Agree!!! -appleapple(apple); 2006-5-8 (#2955011@0)

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