本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛still remember so vividly the moment it was clear my love
was involved with another man. Although I saw all the warning
signs, I ignored them. How could this woman I've known
for so long be unfaithful? We share a beautiful child, are
blessed with loving families, she was a religious woman,
and had strong financial security (both of us being physicians)
and lifelong plans. Why would anyone want to throw away
all we had? That day was the beginning of a new journey.
Surviving infidelity has its own unique challenges. Its
not just faded love but vows tarnished with lies and deceit.
Victims of infidelity can strip confidence from the most
confident, chill the warmest heart and dowse the most kindred
spirit.
So how does move on? How does one take the chance to try again?
How does one rebuild all that was taken away?
I wanted to focus this article on what kept me going during
my ordeal in hopes it will help others experiencing the
same pain.
1. BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM - Everyone has the makings of a
support system. It could be just one special person or a
small army depending on what you need. At first I was hesitant
to take advantage...didn't want to burden anyone.
However, I began to think that I would be insulted if one
of my friends or family didn't lean on me during a difficult
time. You would do the same for them...let your family or
friends help you! You know you'd be there for them..let
them help you. Surround yourself with ones that love you.
2. SEEK HELP FROM PROFESSIONALS - I know you are thinking
I'm saying this because I’m a doctor, but I realized
soon I could benefit from others expertise. Find someone
you can talk to. If you are depressed seek help and don't
be hesitant to take medication...it’s not a sign of weakness
but rather a sign of strength to fight depression head on
3. DON'T TORTURE YOURSELF - Perhaps the most difficult
thing I found to do was to accept the situation and stop dwelling
on the past. Move on! Go out! Laugh! Be yourself! You'll
never find new love wallowing in self pity.
4. REMEMBER THE BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU ARE - It’s so hard to
regain self confidence and remember all you have to offer.
This will come back in time. Focus on all positive things
you bring to a relationship and all the talents you have.
Don't put the blame on yourself for her infidelity...that's
her weakness...not yours.
5. FIND JOY AGAIN - Treat yourself! Do something you always
wanted to do! Sign up for that class. Take that trip. Me...I
bought a sweet motorcycle and try to ride daily. This is
the time to pull your resources together and do something
for yourself.
6. EXERCISE - Clinical trials have demonstrated that working
out reduces depression. Join a gym! Get yourself into the
best shape of your life...you can do it!
7. FAITH - So I'm weak in the whole faith department
at this stage of my life. It’s easy to get down on God during
a time of struggle. Many gain great strength from their
faith in time of challenge...something to consider.
8. LOOK TO THE FUTURE - you have begun a new phase in your life.
Although it can be hard to imagine, you might be better off.
There are men/women out there that are honest and loving,
that will treat you with mutual love and respect.
9. REALIZE IT’S UP TO YOU - There is nothing anyone can say
to make it better. You have to help yourself. It will get
easier with time but keep in mind it’s mostly up to you.
10. AVOID BAD HABITS - It’s easy to fall prey to alcohol or
drugs. DON"T DO IT!! Moderate your alcohol intake...it
is a depressant and can make things worse. Don't get
hooked on drugs...in the long run it will be more problems
then its worth.
These ten thought are merely suggestions. Perhaps others
could share in how they survived infidelity. Don't
forget you are not alone. Chin up...tomorrow will be a brighter
day. Peace, Greg更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
was involved with another man. Although I saw all the warning
signs, I ignored them. How could this woman I've known
for so long be unfaithful? We share a beautiful child, are
blessed with loving families, she was a religious woman,
and had strong financial security (both of us being physicians)
and lifelong plans. Why would anyone want to throw away
all we had? That day was the beginning of a new journey.
Surviving infidelity has its own unique challenges. Its
not just faded love but vows tarnished with lies and deceit.
Victims of infidelity can strip confidence from the most
confident, chill the warmest heart and dowse the most kindred
spirit.
So how does move on? How does one take the chance to try again?
How does one rebuild all that was taken away?
I wanted to focus this article on what kept me going during
my ordeal in hopes it will help others experiencing the
same pain.
1. BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM - Everyone has the makings of a
support system. It could be just one special person or a
small army depending on what you need. At first I was hesitant
to take advantage...didn't want to burden anyone.
However, I began to think that I would be insulted if one
of my friends or family didn't lean on me during a difficult
time. You would do the same for them...let your family or
friends help you! You know you'd be there for them..let
them help you. Surround yourself with ones that love you.
2. SEEK HELP FROM PROFESSIONALS - I know you are thinking
I'm saying this because I’m a doctor, but I realized
soon I could benefit from others expertise. Find someone
you can talk to. If you are depressed seek help and don't
be hesitant to take medication...it’s not a sign of weakness
but rather a sign of strength to fight depression head on
3. DON'T TORTURE YOURSELF - Perhaps the most difficult
thing I found to do was to accept the situation and stop dwelling
on the past. Move on! Go out! Laugh! Be yourself! You'll
never find new love wallowing in self pity.
4. REMEMBER THE BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU ARE - It’s so hard to
regain self confidence and remember all you have to offer.
This will come back in time. Focus on all positive things
you bring to a relationship and all the talents you have.
Don't put the blame on yourself for her infidelity...that's
her weakness...not yours.
5. FIND JOY AGAIN - Treat yourself! Do something you always
wanted to do! Sign up for that class. Take that trip. Me...I
bought a sweet motorcycle and try to ride daily. This is
the time to pull your resources together and do something
for yourself.
6. EXERCISE - Clinical trials have demonstrated that working
out reduces depression. Join a gym! Get yourself into the
best shape of your life...you can do it!
7. FAITH - So I'm weak in the whole faith department
at this stage of my life. It’s easy to get down on God during
a time of struggle. Many gain great strength from their
faith in time of challenge...something to consider.
8. LOOK TO THE FUTURE - you have begun a new phase in your life.
Although it can be hard to imagine, you might be better off.
There are men/women out there that are honest and loving,
that will treat you with mutual love and respect.
9. REALIZE IT’S UP TO YOU - There is nothing anyone can say
to make it better. You have to help yourself. It will get
easier with time but keep in mind it’s mostly up to you.
10. AVOID BAD HABITS - It’s easy to fall prey to alcohol or
drugs. DON"T DO IT!! Moderate your alcohol intake...it
is a depressant and can make things worse. Don't get
hooked on drugs...in the long run it will be more problems
then its worth.
These ten thought are merely suggestions. Perhaps others
could share in how they survived infidelity. Don't
forget you are not alone. Chin up...tomorrow will be a brighter
day. Peace, Greg更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net