key points to think of: -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber) @安省华人论坛:安省枫下论坛 The Rolia Forum of Ontario

枫下佳缘 / 情爱悠悠 / 如果一个女人年轻的时候经历很乱，但是现在要改过自新，并且在一起1年多来确实对男方很好，牺牲了很多也改变了很多，除了女方的经历其他方面男方都非常喜欢，这样的爱情男方应该接受么？ -xba(xba); 2005-10-12 (#2550216@0)

什么叫做经历很乱? -coast(三叶虫); 2005-10-12 (#2550244@0)
经历很乱作何解释？ -genghis_khan(飞鼠大将军); 2005-10-12 (#2550250@0)
爱情应该接受！婚姻踢到一边！早干吗去了？不然跟这位似的#2550096 -arfeifei(老顽童); 2005-10-12 (#2550264@0)

看了这么多贴，感觉：男人在国内大有作为，女人在国外畅通无阻。 -summer88(鱼儿); 2005-10-13 (#2551143@0)
顽童，别人的爱情请你别去瞎掺和，小心打破了一段真情鸳鸯镜！当爱情来临时我们每一个人应懂得去珍惜，而不应去挑找毛病。 -happysunshine(sunshine); 2005-10-23 (#2569275@0)

时间进度仅供参考： -arfeifei(老顽童); 2005-10-25 {410} (#2572106@0)
─┼───┼─────┼────┼──────┼─→
　↑　　　盘　　　　　商　　　　唐　　　　　　今　　
　楼　　　古　　　　　朝　　　　朝　　　　　　天　　
　主　　　开　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　↑
　　　　　天　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　大
　　　　　辟　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　伙
　　　　　地　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　在
　　　　　时　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　此

如果只是在认识你之前有过复杂的交友经历，没有问题啊，说明你很棒啊。如果她之前是做生意的，那你就别去凑热闹了。 -fullmoonnight(圆月夜之狼行天下); 2005-10-13 (#2551069@0)
如果双方都失忆了，可以接受。 -skywriting(天书); 2005-10-13 (#2551083@0)
自己判断, 别听这些人的, 他们都没什么"经历", 不看别人, 就看那些名人, 经历丰富得很, 我看一个个过得都挺好, 延及普通人, 我想一个道理吧. 当然了, 看你自己是怎么思维, 如果属于#2550096这种的, 就算了吧, 而且婚都不要结 -gnits(sting); 2005-10-13 (#2551093@0)
看那男孩爱女孩有多深；看那女孩的“条件”有多好。 -summer88(鱼儿); 2005-10-13 {62} (#2551129@0)
如果真是很认真，就再相除几年看看。一年，什么还都在水底潜着呢。
key points to think of: -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-13 {795} (#2551901@0)
1. what kind of history you are refering to? there is a big difference between having multiple boyfriends/husbands and having multiple one-night-stands. there is also a big difference between having had 20 boyfriends when you are 20 yrs old and having had the same number of boyfriends when you are 40 yrs old.
2. when did you disclose your history to your boyfriend? there is a big difference between disclosing it when you both start being serious and disclosing it when he had sunk too deep.
3. what is your perspective on your own history? do you think this is your own business only and has nothing to do with your boyfriend? do you think he should just accept it?
we all have history. the way we deal with our history is often more critical to a relationship than the history itself.
应该。 -jeffrey815(Smartiecat); 2005-10-13 (#2551904@0)

agree -applebenben(Laura); 2005-10-14 (#2552904@0)

不应该. 不该给其他女人错误的示范.. -taop(Bard-Tamer); 2005-10-13 (#2551916@0)
不应该。爱情能“接受”来吗？爱她的话，你就该自豪地说：我的她又聪明又美丽，年轻的时候很多人追求，感情经历丰富。如果你把这都当缺点，你更本就是不爱她，算了吧。 -7y7(醉里吴音); 2005-10-13 (#2551936@0)

有道理！ -cicifake(流浪的公主); 2005-10-13 (#2551955@0)
to have many admirers is different than to jump in many people's bed -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 {195} (#2552603@0)
you are proud of the former because you are the winner and you beat everyone else.
but for the latter you are probably only the one who pays the bill, whereas others have had their fun for free.

ah? how many bills have u paid? and how much fun did u get for free?.......do not agree............most of the time, getting a wife might be a lunch next to free....... -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 {15} (#2552634@0)
说着说着又俗了,

I thought the rule of thumb in life is to get the most value out of the least cost -- that is called cost efficient. -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 {333} (#2552644@0)
the logic behind this is that we live in a world with limited resources. the smart ones are more cost efficient so they get more than what they paid for. the dumb ones are less cost efficient so they pay more than what they actually get.
another rule of thumb in life is that there is no free lunch. this applies to wife as well.

good calculation, let me calculate in ur own way: u get as much as possible free lunchs , and ur wife gets as much as possible free lunches, so u get DOUBLE free lunches, isn't that a really good deal? -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552650@0)

that is the whole reason you don't want a wife. so you don't have to pay for other's free lunch -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 (#2552652@0)

ok, let's calculate again: so , let's say no marriage happens, then everybody gets free lunch, isn't that right? -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552662@0)

that will be the best scenario. the fittest wins. it will be a jungle world. -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 (#2552684@0)

服了你了, 你理论水平不低啊, 可是你好象从来不考虑FEASIBILITY, 你还嫌这个世界不JUNGLE啊 -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552762@0)

it is indeed a jungle world but we don't have the guts to admit it. -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 (#2552792@0)
and, another golden rule of life is that the level of pleasure decreases as the level of feasibility increases -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 {176} (#2552811@0)
that is why Satre said many years ago that absolute freedom means nothing. that is why money and wealth is only meaningful for us who lacks it. for Bill Gates is just a number

呵呵呵, 我不知道说什么好了, 你肯定知道大家都知道这个世界是怎么回事, 只是你碰巧特有欲望把它清清楚楚地说出来: 这个就已经DECREASED THE PLESURE了, 您觉得呢? -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552820@0)

unfortunately as human beings we cannot enjoy our pleasure blindly like animals. that is our curse as well as our blessing. we are the player and observer at the -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 {10} (#2552884@0)
same time.

u know what? I just feel some kind of struggling from u behind ur seemed clear thoughts and words. Let's say life is a game, but rules apply even in a game. That is where fun and safety come from. -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552955@0)

whose rules? God's or your own? -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 (#2552964@0)

? u live with god or with only yourself? -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552972@0)
ok, let's review ur "free lunch" theory: who is going to offer u free lunch if it knows u think of it as free lunch?? do u like to be free lunch or u just look down upon everybody's IQ except for yourself's? -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552978@0)

we are all looking for different things in our life. -the_dumb_one(dumb_and_dumber); 2005-10-14 {654} (#2553201@0)
some are looking for security and serenity. others looking for excitement and challenge.
there is nothing right or wrong. everything is a personal choice. you have the right to make yourself a free lunch or to get as many
free lunches as possible. however it is important to lay down the ground rule before you start the game. if you are looking for
free lunch and don't intend for any committment then just be upfront and tell the truth. this way you give the other party a choice. the ultimate
respect you can give another human being is the option and right for choice. what is the essence of freedom and liberty -- the right
to choose.

ur last sentence really made me laugh, i thought it it from something like the independence annoucement......anyway, see things get more complicated, -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 {85} (#2553288@0)
not as simple as jungle theory already only after couples' of paragraphs discussion.

这就是真正的好妻子，千金难求啊。日本，北美，女孩子婚前可以随便玩，玩过之后作回贤妻良母，那可比未经沧海的处女可靠的多啊。。 -caa(ChinaEI); 2005-10-14 (#2552648@0)

好过中国的男男女女, 婚前整个一个性痴呆, 婚后一辈子觉得找补不过来 -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552678@0)

你那是满清或文革的皇历，现在，婚前婚后都是性变态。 -caa(ChinaEI); 2005-10-14 (#2552769@0)

今儿变了没有? -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552773@0)
：）））哇哈哈！！！！ -arfeifei(老顽童); 2005-10-14 (#2553098@0)

好像是你爱他，你没说他爱不爱你。你问他能不能接受你的爱情？还是接受你做妻子？还是接受长期在一起？有些事情不太清楚。我想，这和他爱不爱你，他以前是不是很乱都有关系。 -x888(我可不敢刷网了); 2005-10-14 (#2552669@0)

主贴是那个男的发的吧, 看着看着改女的了, 他是想要人家又心里打鼓, 扑通扑通的 -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552771@0)

噢，我看贴不仔细。 -x888(我可不敢刷网了); 2005-10-14 (#2552952@0)
不就一个坑吗？ LZ这个ID该怎么发音... -grassofjune(三无人士); 2005-10-14 (#2552958@0)

does that matter? -gnits(sting); 2005-10-14 (#2552981@0)

应该接受 -sr-71(Blackbird); 2005-10-14 (#2552997@0)
牺牲容易，本性难移 --- 从心理学家那里抄来地。 -notreal(别当真); 2005-10-14 (#2553210@0)
你懂什么叫爱么？谁会把自己的爱人让别人来评价或选择！无知的表现！这说明你本身太幼稚了！ -happysunshine(sunshine); 2005-10-14 (#2553764@0)
年轻的时候经历很乱? 怎莫个乱法？而且，说女生乱，难道你们自己就不乱？那天看到这样一句话：如果女人的贞节用是否处女来衡两，那末男人呢？ -may2002beijing(may2002beijing); 2005-10-16 (#2555632@0)

质问的好！在任何问题上，从任何角度来看，都应该把男女放在真正平等的位子上。都是什么年代了，还有这么多愚昧的大男子主义者，还不会使用古时就有的镜子，（接下） -happysunshine(sunshine); 2005-10-19 (#2561683@0)

这可真是“一声叹息”呀......看来政府对有关的男子教育资金批少了，请有关部门如实反映一下才是呀...... -happysunshine(sunshine); 2005-10-19 (#2561688@0)

婚前无论男女,都应该多选择,多比较,才能知道谁是你想要在一起过一辈子的人, 而婚后则应该忠实于你的婚姻和伴侣 -66shun(66顺); 2005-10-16 {216} (#2555737@0)
.就楼主来说,我觉得是男的,他喜欢这个女的,却又对她以前的经历放不下.其实楼主更应该自信,说明你很棒,你能让她的心安定下来.一年时间已经不短,如果你们在一起的话,应该双方都看得很清楚了.不要在犹豫来犹豫去的,以免错过了你的Right.
都已经在一起一年了,爱情其实早已发生了,我觉得目前楼主困扰的应该是该不该结婚了. -66shun(66顺); 2005-10-16 (#2556476@0)
just remember everything is changing, just grasp now,.and of course no garantee for both sides faithful and loyal forever, let it be let it be -tintin168(tintin); 2005-10-24 (#2569491@0)

you are right you are right. -loveheart(nevergiveup); 2005-10-25 (#2571568@0)

这个帖子又长又复杂，怎么搞的清楚啊 -chrisa(囡囡); 2005-10-24 (#2569545@0)

搞不清楚就不要搞，多累啊 -ice(似水无痕-55Days); 2005-10-24 (#2569550@0)

这个帖子太长了，看看也觉得累，不搞了 -chrisa(囡囡); 2005-10-28 (#2577272@0)

弃恶从善是真佛 -yuyellow(唯楚有才); 2005-10-24 (#2571234@0)

Agree. -loveheart(nevergiveup); 2005-10-25 (#2571563@0)
同意。 -whatislove(什么是爱); 2005-10-25 (#2572192@0)

我的感觉是这男的配不上这个女的。婚姻讲究的就是个真情，以心换心。 -whatislove(什么是爱); 2005-10-25 {325} (#2572245@0)
这男的自己都说了女的对他很好，牺牲了很多改变了很多，却还在因为女的过去而犹豫。反正我的感觉是他们即使最后别别扭扭在一起了，男的心里也不会舒服，女的也不会幸福。还不如现在就分开，真的。如果女的像这个男的说的“其它方面”都很让这个男人喜欢，那么这个女的一定能找到爱她并且懂得爱懂得生活的人。倒是这个男的，应该想清楚不要害人害己。
如果这个男人真的爱这个女人,我想他会接受的.... -serenade123(橘子红了); 2005-10-25 (#2572725@0)
感觉这个男人虚荣心重并比较自私，也许他女友曾有过婚姻，担心身旁的亲戚朋友知道；也许女友曾有几次恋爱，梦想他是她的唯一。但一生又能遇上几个在各方面都很适合的伴侣呢？既然找到了，就应珍惜！否则，时光又怎会等人？ -happysunshine(sunshine); 2005-10-26 (#2575278@0)

是.抓住现在,享受现在最重要. -enjoyrightnow(享受現在最重要); 2005-10-27 (#2576554@0)

为什么男人年轻时经历很乱，就没有女人嫌弃，还要加上一句“浪子回头，金不换”？ -choice(水中花); 2005-10-27 (#2577139@0)
自己度量，觉得不错，就不用去计较以前的，你要的是她的未来，不是过去。 -laoshuaidami(LaoShuAiDaMi); 2005-10-28 (#2578530@0)

@Ontario

key points to think of:

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