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花瓣雨系列之 Fish's privacy

Does a fish have its privacy,
living in a small transparent world?
I peek at it from a distance,
pondering.

Last night, I had an odd dream:
the fish fed in my glass bottle cried.
I woke up with a sad mood,
a feeling that I was the fish.

I laid some seaweed,
and fancy stones inside.
I hoped they would made
a new home for that poor sprite.

For now when it spots my gaze,
it can fleet behind a screen.
The fish lives its simple life,
it doesn’t know I can turn to its back.

People around me
seem to see through me,
They don't know
I had a dream of that fish.
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Replies, comments and Discussions:

  • 枫下拾英 / 乐韵书香 / 花瓣雨系列之 Fish's privacy
    • 刺!更象老僧念经!非诗,文也!联成一片,读起来还舒服点!
      • Disagree. Here spine has its limits, sword may be better with creative and original shine.
      • M poem depicts my observation and imagination. Here your spine only stings its form.
        • :) 站远一点,不要太近距离看自己的诗, 别把它当自己的婴孩。你就会发现比起你的其它作品,这首用词潜句感觉都稍嫌过于平淡~~~
          • Spine has her lovely face and brave spirits. I love her comments most of time. :)
            Here I try to focus on her limits. Poem is like my baby and code too. Why not? This poem I don't think fancy words can fit it. It is very related to life.
            • 潜词用句并不等于fancy word:) 无论你承认还是不,这首诗都有不够年份的葡萄酒的感觉 --- 缺乏回味,有些象读者之类的杂志上专栏作家的人生警示的小文,但是煽情的部分又不够。anyway, 只要你自己喜欢,whatever。
              • 再嘴硬一把。。。We are standing on different level... Maybe you are taller..
                • or maybe I am diving to the plain water..
                  • 好了,anna。你要理解大家对你的苛刻嘛。事实上,大家还是很喜欢你的诗的呀,读着淡淡的,有点香~~~